Keeping up

I keep telling myself I need to keep things up to date on here and I think of interesting things to share and then I forget them. 

So here's a few.  

Co-worker is back to flirting. I thought he was done with that scene but I guess he wasn't quite. He started texting me the other day with a series of smileys. I answered with one back and we exchanged about 4 each. There was a heart on another text and the touching at work started up again. I even got a hug yesterday. I play along a little, but not giving in entirely as it can't go anywhere, I'd rather it not go anywhere. 

Bf has separated our bank account, took his portion of cash and separated the bills. I'm paying my own rent and everything as of the beginning of November, but he hasn't moved out. He has given me more closet space and helped cleaned stuff out a little, but I'm afraid to ask him to start living the the other apt. I think he plans on staying until I find something but I have no idea how long that will take and would rather he start living there part time at least. I just need to find the courage to break it to him. 

I did something moderately bad. I went through the bf's computer and phone the other day. He erases his text messages on a regular basis so there's really not a lot there. His computer on the other hand was more telling. He had a chat program in the trash, it's a French chat site. Not sure why there was some sort of download for it. His browser history was full of porn which didn't surprise me. 

I kinda giggled as the porn was mostly vintage 70's stuff. Lots of bush. The other stuff was searches for young anal stuff. No surprise there. I'm not sure why but I am almost surprised there wasn't any gay curious stuff. I've always suspected a little. There was only one page about tranny sex and I'm pretty sure it was a mistake. I think he'd just been going through all the popular pages of a porn site as there was a whole list of pages from the same site on the history. I think he tries looking stuff up in English but isn't too good at it since he doesn't speak English.

If he went through my computer he probably wouldn't find a whole lot, though he'd find blogger, I'm not sure he'd be able to figure out it was me writing. I have a locked folder with pictures of myself and a few things from rob. And a couple other secrets. He wouldn't be able to get into that though. 

"The Norm"

You know when you are in a conversation and it doesn't quite go the way you planned and how after the fact, even days later, you think back and the perfect responses come to mind?

I was talking to an acquaintance of mine about the bf moving out. When she asked about it I told her we weren't breaking up and that I just needed space. A whole lot of excuses came to mind. I explained that my parents divorced and that neither of them lives/lived with their partners. Her response was "so to you that's what feels normal". And I answered yes. 

Thinking back I kinda regret having explained myself. I think a much better response to her statement would have simply been 'it's the ideal situation for me, and the "norm" for society shouldn't be a limit for what feels right to me.'

She and her friend then went on to joke that it would work for her friend as well which showed they were trying to be accepting. 

I can't judge her reaction or comments, everyone comes to a conversation with their own background and experiences. But sometimes it's our responses that can make them think differently on a topic, which is why I regret not having thought of this that evening. 

Rampant gang bang.

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Away

I've been avoiding the blog. There are many reasons for my absence but the real reason is that I've just simply been avoiding it. 

Things are hectic as usual during fall. Courses are starting and taking up a lot of my energy and time not to mention private students. This fall has been dotted with difficulties though. My grandmother passed away. It was unexpected and harsh as I'd just seen her when I was back home visiting. She was in excellent health when I saw her and it came as a complete shock. Both my sister and I live disconnected from our extended family so people couldn't get in touch to let us know. We were devastated. Admittedly though she was very old and perhaps it's better that she went fast and painless at the age of 94. 

Bf is in the process of setting up his apartment. He has even freed up closet space in our place for me, but he isn't moving out yet. He spends a lot of time over there installing furniture and getting things set up. I went to pick him up the other day and used the washroom. It was a bit disconcerting to see a toothbrush and razor in there when he hasn't been sleeping there. It makes me nervous, but I try to ignore that feeling. 

He set up a whole display of photographs glued to the back of his front door from our various travels many of which are shots of me and him or just me. It's just something I found very sweet. 

He was also good when my grandma passed on and kept close. 

I will try to keep up with the blog more I promise.