Monday, May 12, 2014
What did I get myself into?
Ok... so I need to start with the good before I get into the rest.
Things with the bf have been going marvelously. We've had crazy good sex and even frequently. I have to say, as well, that there's nothing like a cock induced orgasm. Seriously ladies... Nothing beats the real thing. I've tried so many times to convince myself that hands work just fine. They do, but it's just not the same.
I couldn't even remember the last time I had a real orgasm.... I'd have to go back through my posts to find it I think. Anyhow it was damn good. Last night I gave the bf a blowjob. It's been ages. But I love giving head. I really really do. I could spend hours just licking, sucking, circling, teasing, grazing.... I love the feel of the soft skin against my lips and tongue.
I've been kinda bad though in a couple ways, but the first is because I thought of Rob's cock while I was sucking the bf off. I shouldn't... I really should concentrate on him. But part of me just thinks, well... if he's happy, he'll never know. Right? anyhow I try not to do that too much.
I ended up thinking about Rob a lot though, and made myself cum again today while texting him. There have been a few of those interactions lately.
But the really bad thing.... Here's what I got myself into, and I have been reckless I guess....
I went out with a friend from out of town tonight. We went to a little pub for a drink and really hit it off. She's a woman I barely know but she's alone in town and needed to get out a little so I volunteered. I took her to a little pub I go to, a friend's brother owns it but doesn't work on the weekends. We sat a couple hours and had a beer.
As we were sitting there, I see a person walk by the front door, and I'm thinking "he looks familiar". When he turns back and walks in I realise it's The Office Guy. Holy shit. Oh fuck... no way. He doesn't even live in this town. What's he doing in town on a sunday night??
He grabs a drink and sits DIRECTLY in front of me. WTF!?! alone, drink in hand and phone in the other. He concentrates on his phone.
Me and my guest continue talking, I am trying sooo hard to concentrate on what she's telling me. Important things, things that I need to give thoughtful answers to. Then, all of a sudden he leaves.
Shortly after that, we decide to head home, and I see her off. I start to walk home, and send him an email, "are you still around?"
I waited, and waited for an answer, I wandered aimlessly and sat on a side street trying to occupy my time, waiting for a response but none comes. I head home. I get home, get in the gate and need my phone to light my way and he's answered. "yes, wanna meet?"
Shaking, I get into my apartment and go to the washroom, freshen up, brush my hair and walk right back out the door. "yes where? Not the pub"
We meet on a street corner, he's parked his car on a sidewalk illegally. We talk briefly, say the local hello with cheek kissing and then discuss where to go. He motions to the car and asks if I want to get in. I don't hesitate, I already trust him, in the 3 minute hello. We drive aimlessly heading out of town, but then circling around back toward the city centre when I suggest we just pull over and talk.
We talked over an hour, just general conversation, usual, normal, but also thoughtful stuff. He's much nicer in person that in his emails. He's confused. I confused him. But he gets that I'm shy....
It's midnight and I look at my phone, it's time to go to bed. He drives me home and we say our goodbyes. More cheek kissing. This time he tries to aim for my lips but I am more direct and go for his cheek. On the third cheek kiss I start laughing because I can tell he's trying to kiss me and we discuss it.
I hesitated, I said I don't know... I didn't say no... so he went for it and we kissed. Not a short kiss either. Tongue and all, even groping, a hand went for my tit. But I stopped him. He wouldn't have stopped.
The kiss was... wet and well, different. He reminds me of one of my ex boyfriends. big lips, big mouth.... but it wasn't bad. I didn't see fireworks or get turned on much... there was a little jump... but nothing huge.
But now I've done it. I kissed him. I've given him that and I can't go back. I was glad he was out of my hair. I'd managed to explain that I'd let him know if things changed with the bf. But now I've been stupid and gone and woken up the dragon.
-Do I regret kissing him?
Not in the kiss itself. I love trying new things but I don't want to start anything with him and that's not fair to him.
-Do I regret talking to him?
No I think he's ultimately a good guy. I like him much more than how he appeared in his emails. So meeting was a good thing.