tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4439200263955642089.post1375606456229290671..comments2023-11-02T09:05:59.716+01:00Comments on Diary: confusedCandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01678003991987294180noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4439200263955642089.post-20913276252767418682011-10-15T17:05:29.661+02:002011-10-15T17:05:29.661+02:00Cande,
Again this is me. This is exactly my sto...Cande, <br /><br />Again this is me. This is exactly my story too. The problem here with keeping him around is that if you are not sure you love him but he truly still loves you..it may cause problems. I have been so disconnected from my hubs that I thought being friends with him would make me change the way I feel. Maybe see the changes he's made for himself which he has changed but i am still not comfortable with the changes. It's odd to see someone who was horrible, become this positive person overnight. Why now? Gets you angry too BTW. Well we hung out 2 months and now he wants to rush back into US. I am still struggling if I love him so US is not an option. That explaination was followed by an ultimatum by him. Friends is not an option! Sucks. But i don't know what I want. Isn't that a horrible feeling? To know what u wanted but because of the other person you totally lost your sense of knowing what you now want? It just sucks!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4439200263955642089.post-72423719150687442112011-10-13T17:24:31.624+02:002011-10-13T17:24:31.624+02:00Been reading your story for awhile.
Given your ...Been reading your story for awhile. <br /><br />Given your interest in the co-worker, Rob, etc. I'd say you've only stayed with the BF b/c it was easy/comfortable/stable.<br /><br />You clearly are in a place where you need to move on. He hasn't given you what you needed for years!<br /><br />Be glad you aren't married, don't have kids or other serious commitments with him. <br /><br />I agree with your best friend. Move out. You can still "date" him. Give him space to improve himself while you improve yourself. <br /><br />Best of luck.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4439200263955642089.post-14841076031724155242011-10-13T17:14:07.882+02:002011-10-13T17:14:07.882+02:00I'm a real cynic when it comes to "change...I'm a real cynic when it comes to "change" brought on by a crisis. <br /><br />Yes, he is seeing things in a whole new light.<br />Yes, he's now (just now) scared of a life without you.<br />Yes, he <i>thinks</i> he understands your point of view, but (and there is always a "but" and mine's pretty big), none of these epiphanies are going to change his upbringing, his view of women and their role, how he values your talent and creativity, and it won't change his sex drive, his hygiene, or his desire to watch soccer over talking to you. <br /><br />This sounds harsh, but I've seen religious conversions, health conversions, porn conversions from all sorts of crisis moments, but rarely do they last. I still think you should move out and date him if he still wants to see you. Otherwise I fear that he will turn into the BF he is right now once he sees that the crisis is over. You’ll be able to see him change from a place of strength, and he’ll have the personal space to decide if he’s changing just for you and to avert the breakup, or if he’s seeing a better way of relating to people (you). And, as he’s thinking, you’ll get a better perspective on whether you want him at all.<br />Boy, that sounds so mean…. Oh, and though it’s romantic, I never follow my heart, my heart is an idiot.Advizor54https://www.blogger.com/profile/02818587592229617693noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4439200263955642089.post-13752447208636892372011-10-13T13:57:02.837+02:002011-10-13T13:57:02.837+02:00I think best friend gave good advice. When we'...I think best friend gave good advice. When we've been jolted into facing the reality of losing someone, we can go through strong emotions and promise things that are often only reactions to the moment. That's not to say there is no sincerity in what is said, but given the time period and emotions surrounding your recent breakup, it's hard to determine the quality of consideration as to whether one can realistically meet the changes they say they can make. I think you'd both need time to see whether those changes are changes the person really wants to make and whether they can be lived up to past this period. And even if they could, whether you still feel your heart is into supporting a future for the two of you.<br /><br />It can be too easy to look through rose-coloured glasses at a time like this and rely on words alone. But you've have been given good advice from people who know you. Best wishes, I hope you manage to work through what you want.Edenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03855310202280105764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4439200263955642089.post-46522169056287526972011-10-13T08:45:40.787+02:002011-10-13T08:45:40.787+02:00I throw this out...you seem concerned about the ch...I throw this out...you seem concerned about the chunks of his life. Not until the end here did I read anything about YOUR chunks of life. Your best friend says it best, I think, but it goes both ways. Will he change, and for the right reasons? And even if he changes everything 180°, will you be in love with that person?<br /><br />It doesn't really matter what WE say/think. Anonymous says it best--follow your heart. (but with a sprinkling of head, too!)Osbassohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08955786750729006181noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4439200263955642089.post-63269184248478793842011-10-13T06:57:01.904+02:002011-10-13T06:57:01.904+02:00follow your heart...it will never mislead you...follow your heart...it will never mislead you...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com