I talked to Rob today.

I talked to Rob today.

Finally

It has been forever since we had a normal conversation. He had the day off work because he had some stuff to do on his car. There was no mention of sex. Nothing sexual really except for a passing joke about tearing my jeans off (with his teeth). Apart from that it was just two friends having a chat. It was nice.

I talked about my relationship with bf. About how I've been toying with the idea of telling bf that I need some space, that I need to figure out what I want and need. That I don't want to leave him, but that I need to get away from the relationship to see it from a distance. 

Rob said that I didn't have the balls to do it... I'm not sure I do either. But anyhow we made a bet. We bet 5 euros that I wouldn't tell him before our next big argument. We haven't had a big argument in ages. Probably since we were travelling this winter. 

We talked briefly about lying. I'm not the lying kind. I'm pretty good at it if I have to, but I don't lie if I can avoid it. He said he lies when he wants to cover something up out of guilt. Specifically if he bought something that cost too much.

What else... He promised to make me some beads. He works with metal, and he's good with his hands. He made his gf a pendant in the shape of a heart. It was nice, in brushed brass (I think) I never found out if she wore it. Well I said that I had gotten addicted to making bracelets and he said he'd make me some to put on a bracelet. yay. That made my day.

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I've been thinking. 

Is the society going back to it's origins? A kind of urban wilderness. Are we going back to the mentality of the Roman sexual and culinary indulgence? 

Meetings on chatroulette seem to be just that. They seem to be a liberal society of letting free. No judgements passed (unless your a child). No matter about age or race. Sexual freedom is the name of the game. And it's not generally dangerous. It's just liberating. 

I have also come to understand that I am a minority on there. I don't think young 20-30 yr old guys would be interested in me if I were in a bar full of 18 yr old girls. Strange how the world works.