BF
So the final word on what's been going on is that we had another outburst, we had another silly argument. It was last Saturday night, I was in a good mood because I'd had a good day with bf, and I had organized some of my trip to N. America with some friends of mine and I wanted to tell him what I'd worked out. He gets home and starts reaming me out for shit that was so stupid, so unnecessary. Anyhow I got angry, he realized how unfriendly he'd been and came to apologize. When he did I couldn't help but burst into tears. I confessed that I hadn't gotten over the previous week's events. He apologized once again and told me all sorts of "nice" things, things he never says until he sees me cry. Often these things make me cry more, not because they make me sad, but because it's a bit of a sensory overload I suppose. Well he ended up saying he that he wanted to give me a back rub to make up for it and gave me a half assed job in bed. Then we got talking about our trip to N. America this summer and ended up talking details until 1 am. Still no sex... but that will come soon. I guess that's the end. I won't be mentioning it anymore. And I think he got the point.
PORN
I checked out some gay porn the other day when I had a bit of time. I have to admit that some of it turned me on, and I think more turned me off. I can easily watch a guy sucking another guy off. That was hot. I watched a few videos of a few guys fucking, but I couldn't get into it. I think the problem was that I couldn't relate to the situation. When I watch porn I need to be able to imagine what it feels like. I'm not sure, it could be that the videos I watched weren't the right kind. I did like the bj stuff though.
BLOGS
There are a few new blogs around so I've updated my list. One I have become very fond of is Orgasm's of Johanna. Another newbie is Joe Nobody. I'm sure I've mentioned Amorous Ebony Chronicles before, Advizor's blog Free Advice is worth what you pay for it. They're all excellent and there are more in the side bar on the right. I unfortunately have so little time and freedom to do a lot of reading and keeping up. But if I had the freedom I'd probably never get anything done with all the great reading around.
Enjoy :-)
BTW Does anyone know what happened to Library Vixen has she moved?
BUFFY
Don't laugh. I have rediscovered Buffy the Vampire slayer. I love it. Always have. The re-runs are on late at night here so I can't watch them while I'm working. But like tonight I'm up late writing and watching Buffy. I've had a bit of a thing for Spike... I didn't like him at first, but his personality grew on me and now I kinda drool over him. Very sexy. Plus Sarah Michelle Gellar is hot.
In my book there are few things worse than a 1/2 assed massage. They start with such potential, both erotic and soothing, but if the other person looses interest it's awful. How can you stop when you are touching the person you love? I'm a big fan of the back-rub as foreplay, or, if agreed, as a sleeping pill. Sometimes you don't know which it will be when it starts, but either way it's a great bonding time.
ReplyDeleteBF needs to realize that you need to hear all the nice things when everyone's in a good mood, not just as a recovery technique.
As for gay porn, I'm all for the ladies, but when it's just the guys? I'm not in to it either.
I was able to hit Library Vixen's blog at http://libraryvixen.com/. She is wonderful, isn't she?
And WOW, thanks for the mention. to be included in your list makes me feel very special. Really, it does.
And I'm looking forward to your North America trip. At least we'll be on the same land mass.
Sorry to hear things are so rocky with you and BF lately :( Perhaps a nice far away trip will be exactly what you guys need to gain some perspective. Totally agree with Advizor though; compliments, no matter how truly sincere, will seem disingenuous if you only hear them after a fight.
ReplyDeleteI'm not too into gay porn either. Then again, I'm not that into mainstream straight porn either, it's so over the top staged. I've had much better luck with written amateur erotica, gay or straight, as a better outlet to experience something vicariously through.
Something that always surprises me, even now: back when I was a teen in a long-term sexual relationship with another guy, is that we got a request from some lesbian friends to watch us fuck. Years later, some lesbian friends admitted to liking gay male porn. And these weren't experimenting teens this time, they were women who were spending the rest of their lives together. In the end, apparently even if you're not turned on by men, you can be turned on by raw sexual desire that transcends traditional sexual orientation.
BTW, what part of North America are you visiting?
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm incredibly honoured to be on your blog roll!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, I too need to feel I can relate to the scene when I watch porn. But I also love the thought of a curious, open minded man, maybe exploring his bi side for the first time, as he lets me watch... And voilà, there it is ;-)
I think BF takes you too much for granted. He doesn't seem to realise how lucky he should be to have you.
ReplyDeleteMaybe this trip is going to bring some fresh air into your relationship.
Porn: i'm with you on the gay bj.
Buffy: I watched them all and had fun, that was a long time ago-
Thank you for making us discover newbies. And also, I had not noticed you had put me on your blogroll, for which I feel honored, thank you :)
Wow!! Thanks for the blog mention. To know that you of all people like my blog makes me feel very unworthy.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all... None of you should be honoured that I posted about your blogs, nor that you're on my blog roll... I love you all, you guys make it worthwhile to blog and to try to keep up with reading your blogs. It's the least I could do!
ReplyDeleteAdvizor: yeah... bonding... That's exactly what it should be, and sleeping after isn't a problem. What bugs me is the one handed type of massage. that is done while laying on your side... that's not a massage.
I'm not sure why, but Library Vixen went missing for a day when I was cleaning out my blog roll.
Johanna: That curiosity also turns me on... I love watching the newbie type stuff but generally I've noticed it doesn't go too much further than a blowjob.
Frenchy: I hope the trip will help. It will define a few things for sure.
Ebony: You should never Ever feel unworthy!!! xo
wow. some of this sounds way to familiar. i also feel the same way you do about the gay porn. i also have to visual myself doing the stuff in order to get turned on.
ReplyDelete