Right... so I've done it. I've booked my flight over to London for the 3rd and probably the last time for a good while. I'll be going in mid May for a Roger Waters' concert. I am also going back to N. America to visit family and friends this summer in August mostly. But I will not have the money to travel for a while after all of that.
I texted Rob yesterday to let him know that I booked the tickets,
He knows that I'm not putting any kind of expectation or weight on this. I'm just looking forward to a cool concert. Whatever comes, comes... I know that the online side of things will remain no matter what happens, that's what's important.
So Rob texted me last night to tell me he was on line. It was a bit of a surprise honestly. When I tell him that I've made some sort of commitment to come to London he is usually pretty quiet for a while. This time we talked quite a bit even. He said that he was looking at hotels in a town outside of London. We decided a day even. There was a constant flow of surprising comments.
I have to say that he is unique. There's something about his online behaviour that is so different from the usual cyber chat stuff and it turns me on so much. I can't describe it either. There's, you know, the usual, "oh slide your hands down your panties, ok now touch your clit..." type stuff. And he just doesn't do that. He knows how my mind works. And he pushes all the right buttons. It's like he climbs inside my mind and works from the inside out.
Last night he asked me what I thought about when I'm getting myself off. I told him a quick fantasy off the top of my head: He takes me from behind, me kneeling on the bed, my hair in his hands pulling my head and back into an uncomfortable arch as he pounds me, then he lets go, pushes the top half of my body and my head onto the bed, ass high in the air as he continues.
And he said "why do you think like that?" There was obviously no tone in the chat message, so no way to gage his voice. But I knew what he meant.
I told him that it turned me on, that I like the submissive angle, but that I didn't know why.
He said that he wanted to find out, he wanted to help me find out.
You're so brave! I hope your trip to London will be rewarding, whatever happens...
ReplyDeleteFor me, exploring online has been like sexual therapy, only free of charge, haha... I've discovered so many sides of myself that I didn't know about. And in the next step I've discovered that those sides have been there all along, I just wasn't aware until a perceptive lover made me see it, and made me dare (or perhaps simply tempted me) to step outside of my comfort zone. I've never been as brutally honest with anyone as I am with my online lover. It's somehow easier to tell the crude truth when you don't have to do it face to face - and once you've started sharing secrets, it quickly gets addictive... resulting in an intimacy that's rare in real life (for me, anyway).
That's exactly what it was like for me too. The honesty was the craziest part I think, it's what dragged me in and won't let me go. That's definitely what hooked me.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you're talking about, stepping outside of your comfort zone. Figuring things out. I've learned so much in the past few years. The internet mixed with Rob and the blog community have all contributed to a sort of sex therapy and personal introspection in figuring things out.
London is the best city in the world! Maybe I'm biased because I was born and have lived here all my life, but it truly is a remarkable place. You will love it!
ReplyDeleteHey!! you're still around! excellent, nice to see you're back!
ReplyDeleteSuch a great reason to go visit London!! Roger Waters is amazing and I've read some wonderful reviews about the show.
ReplyDeleteIf the meeting takes place, even better. I hope it all works out well.
Spot on - I don't need anyone to tell me how to touch myself. But to find that deeply hidden desire and feel the surge of awakening inside... Phew!
ReplyDeleteHopefully it works for you this time
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