We talk a lot on Skype. Recently we haven't been using video much because I'm often out of the house and I use my phone. I love talking to him, we generally just chit chat about whatever comes to mind. Rarely we go into sex talk in the afternoons, but on occasion there's an offhand comment about wanting to fuck me again or the question "when am I coming back".
In the past two conversations he has made offhand jokes about things that make me laugh, and that I don't pay much attention to at the time, but then they come back to me later and haunt me a bit... Okay so maybe "haunt" is a bit much, my brain just replays them over and over.
One was that I should move closer to him, meaning to the UK. I joked saying that he wouldn't be able to handle me living closer.
In another conversation about having children with our partners he said that I should have his babies... lol that still makes me laugh. At the same time I think about him fucking me, cumming inside me and yeah fucking me later still dripping with his cum. God, just the idea turns me on... I haven't had anyone cum inside me in over 15 years... Not being on the pill doesn't help much with that I guess, but I'm basically allergic to it.
The idea of me actually having his child doesn't horrify me either...strangely. I'd be more scared of having bf's child. I'm terrified of being connected to him forever I think. Whereas I don't mind the idea of forever being linked to Rob. Strange how my brain works.
It's not like I want kids or anything... Right now. But I do feel like time is creeping up and a decision has to be made at some point or fate will make my decision for me. When I did try bringing it up with the bf a while back he said that he wouldn't mind having a kid with me but only if it's a boy, because if it's a girl it would turn out to be too much like me. WTF is that supposed to mean?!
I had a vasectomy years ago. Just saying....
ReplyDeleteAnd yea, WTF does that mean? If you had a little girl I can imagine her turning out beautiful, talented, funny, and all around amazing. Just like her mom.
I also think that your feelings about having the BF's child are very telling. If you don't want to be linked to him "forever", why do you want to be linked to him now?