I think he's seeing someone else. If he's not sleeping with someone on occasion he's thinking about it. There are clues, changes in his habits that prove it. Habits in his personal grooming and hygiene as well as changes in his way of thinking. I started to pick up on it about 6 months ago I think.
He has been shaving his pubic. In 15 years he never shaved for me. He also stopped biting his nails... Or at least he managed to stop ganging up on one nail. One of his nails was almost gone due to him picking at it so much. It was disgusting really. I don't know when but he's managed to get it looking like the rest.
Those are two of the more obvious things. There are other minor indicators around his personality and habits that ring warning bells: liking different types of music, downloading stuff he'd never downloaded before like international stuff rather than just local stuff.
I'm really tempted to outright ask him if he's sleeping with someone else to see his reaction. But I'm not sure it's the best course of action. Any suggestions?
I think now is a good time to "begin" the process. I wouldn't confront him directly ... noodle it around a bit to see how you can begin the process ... not quite an inquisition, but you definitely want to know how much he squirms. And spread it out over a week or so.
ReplyDeleteMike
Unless you are prepared for a give and take conversation I'd leave it.
ReplyDeletei agree, as my attorney says, only ask questions you already know the answer to, and, you are ready to hear it.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he's ready to talk about it, are you ready to have that conversation, what if he asks about you and your on-line activities or vacations.... I'm not a big fan of confession to ease the guilt, but if he starts spilling the beans it might trigger something in you, and that might get ugly.
The other question is, "Does it matter?"
Does it change how you feel about him?
Would it change how you behaved?
Would it change your plans for the future?
If not, then don't bother asking. Details just get messy, especicially if they don't change anything.
Only if you are prepared to hear his answer and be completely honest too. Otherwise, you're just being a hypocrite.
ReplyDelete