Yeah, things have been weird.
First of all it's crazy hot. It was 37° C today and I feel like I'm melting. It's unusual for this time of the year and storms are coming tomorrow to cool us all off.
I'm not sure if the heat is responsible or what, but I've been in a weird state for the past three days.
No I know full well it's not just the heat. I had some tough times due to an untimely conversation with Rob. I don't want to drag it out here now, but it's sorted. I feel 99% better. There is still some little part of me that knows we are coming to some kind of conclusion in our relationship. I don't want anything to end, but sooner or later we have to stop meeting up. I just feel terrified at the idea that we might cut our friendship off too. We've decided that we're meeting in October for the last time. Whether we actually stick to that is to be seen but we have made that decision. It's just weird is all. knowing we won't meet up again.
Things with the bf are weird too. I don't know really how to describe it. We went on holiday and argued the last few days. We've been arguing a lot recently, maybe he's on edge, maybe I am too... who knows.
We went to a festival in the village where he works. It's a fair distance from town. We stopped in at his work place. I hadn't been there yet. There was this girl sitting outside, in front of the shop next door and she grinned at him and joked with him. She was cute, simple, short dyed red hair glasses, slim, looked a bit like me but younger.
Later we bump into her with her boyfriend, this big burley guy with a beard. They sit down behind us and the bf starts gossiping about her, worse than a woman. He tells me she has the hots for the guy he works with, she spends all her time in their shop... and so on.
Fact is at the festival he said he's never going to sleep at my house again. I'm not sure if he's being serious or not... but it was a strange thing to say. I told him that I sleep better when he's not there (which is true, he snores). I got a pang of jealousy though and I wondered if there was someone else.
The heat does strange things to us, puts us on edge, makes us short tempered. I wonder if he's jealous of the girl from the cafe, perhaps he has the hots for her so he tears her down when she's with another guy.
ReplyDeleteYour BF's refusal to sleep at your place sounds like a power play, "You come to me or we won't be together." Pretty petty if you ask me.
I'm glad you and Rob are getting some clarity, even if that is moving in a direction you don't like. Uncertainty is the worst.