Today is not a good day. I am overwhelmed with frustration, anger, anxiety, hatred, sadness, desperation and helplessness. There are too many negative and complicated things going on and as usual, all at the same time.
I feel like telling the world to FUCK OFF and I feel like crawling under the sheets and curling up in the foetal position and staying there until the world decides to fix things.
Remember this post? Well she tried suicide again. This time though she's calling out for me. She's insisting I come to see her in the psyche ward. She called her mother frantically, desperate to see me. Her mother in tears on the phone to me begging me to help her.
The bf is barely taking an interest so to speak. I understand his distance, I accept it, and I almost agree with it, but at the same time I'm left stuck in the middle. He has no comforting words for me after I've had to see her in piteous conditions numerous times and that bothers me. I feel like slapping him into reason. I feel like forcing him to deal with the emotions. I can barely talk to him about it. He doesn't want to listen. I'm just so angry with everyone. Irrational, I'm sure... but it's the only emotion that keeps me sane right now. All the men in the family, the bf, the girl's father, their other brother are so fucking incapable with their emotions its incredible. I'd like to kick them all in the nuts and tell them to get their fucking acts together.
I'm sad that your world is full of such pain, that she see's no hope in having friends and family around her. I'll be thinking of you and wishing you strength to deal with the challenges that lay ahead.
ReplyDeleteBut you need to reach out to her. As painful as it will be, as troubling and heartbreaking as the next days and weeks will be, you need to engage her and help where you can. If you don't, you will feel the sadness of wondering if you could have helped.
And if it does help, even for a while, you will have helped when maybe no one else could. you don't have to take on her burdens, but you have strength to give and she will need it.
And yes, kick the BF in the balls for not being more willing to help.