She was quite androgynous, boyish features, slim, petit, small breasts. She had a boy cut bordering on pixie cut, blond hair. She was wearing a crop top with her bathing suit underneath and a pair of cut off jean shorts. When she turned and walked past, the back of her small bathing suit was visible out the top of her shorts.
It was the glance, she looked me straight in the eye and gave the slightest crooked smile. Maybe it's just me but there was something in that glance. It was like she was saying, I see you, you don't fool me with that man. I was with the bf.
This is almost a first for me, I've only ever wanted another girl when I was drunk. I've never noticed girls checking me out.
I think that the culture here is so closed minded that it would be difficult for me to even try anything, if I were back home, it would possibly be different.
Sometimes I wonder how important these experiences are. Is connection what we're all looking for? Should this be a goal or is there a point where we need to say 'I'm happy with where I am'?
I think it's both we all want a great connection that makes you spark and that person shares that spark with you but sometimes it is only created once and you can't recreate it.
ReplyDeleteBut living for sparks maybe a goal that is unachievable that needs to be accepted as not worth and acceptance of being good where you are makes you happy with yourself.
It's kind of like trying to achieve perfection ... it's nice to try but accepting it's only going to be so good will stop you from being dissapointed in what you have achieved.
Sorry I think I am rambling.
I am sure you are noticed much more often than you would ever imagine. You are just too modest to admit it.
ReplyDeleteNext time, smile back, wave, and say hello, even if the BF is there.