Saturday, March 7, 2020

friends?

I’ve been through some weird times recently. Most of the events revolve around men and dating... or even not dating. Just men. It’s been a rollercoaster. And I’ve come to realize two major things.

Men are attracted to me, yes, but there’s a drive that is incredibly strong and almost frantic. They become strongly infatuated and not in a healthy way. 
It’s like either they couldn’t care less, or it’s over the top insane. There’s no healthy middle ground of flirting and getting to know someone. 
And possession... wtf is up with that? Guys just want to own you. 

Anyhow, back to my two revelations, I have realized that birth control has an effect of dampening hormones. It makes women less fertile... obviously, but in doing so it also makes them less attractive as a mate. I believe a large number of women, if not the majority are on some kind of birth control. I haven’t been on birth control for over 20 years. I think it must drive men crazy. I know it affects the voice, skin, minor physical changes in the face, but also pheromones. It’s the only logical explanation. I’ve had a couple men just blurt out that they want me to have their children. 

This brings me to revelation number 2 And that is that I’ve always thought I get along better with men. Most of my friends are men. Now though, I have learned that they don’t really see me as a friend. They just want to fuck me. And so, I now understand I have very few actual friends. It sucks and makes me feel quite lonely. I have a handful female friends that I am eternally thankful for. They keep me sane.