It was nice.

Christmas away with the bf was nice. Not as special as I'd hoped but it was nice. We ended up meeting a man who was from the same village in the south as the bf. It was a total fluke and a very bizarre coincidence. Their sisters even work together.

We got invited to their house for Christmas lunch, the main Christmas meal here. They have two kids so it was kinda nice to spend time with a family. It was somewhat awkward at times though, turns out he used to be an alcoholic and he didn't go so far as to say it but it became clear at one point.

Instead it was awkward for us because they started to quiz us about why we didn't have kids or get married. I never spoke, the bf answered their inquiries. I didn't have the guts to speak up. I'm such a fucking wimp. His answer was that we never felt the necessity to have kids or get married. Specifically he said it was mostly about the fact that he thinks marriage is all a money making industry for the church and that it really doesn't make any difference.

As for kids he said that we prefer to travel and be free than have kids.

Partially true. Truer for him probably. But still it would have been nicer for him to ask me. 

I am coming to realize I'm a walking contradiction. I wish I weren't sometimes.