I'd like more anything please.

I've been having a hard time getting back to the internet. I've been launched full force into work since I got back and I haven't really been feeling the internet thing.

I haven't really had much time on my own either. The bf was on "holiday", meaning that the usual 3 afternoons he actually leaves the house to work were spent at home too.

He is in the process of furnishing the apartment he bought. He was going to move in September, then it was October, now it's looking like it won't be before the end of October possibly November.

We've been getting along though and so I guess it's ok. I've just been needing time alone. I really need time on my own.

I kinda feel like I have no men in my life right now. Apart from the bf... and even there it's just a friendship relationship atm, the others are all just kinda hanging on the sidelines. Rob has been in touch just in the last couple of days with a game but I haven't seen him or heard from him in months. Office guy sent me a virus that I thought was a genuine email and I responded so we started talking today, but he keeps insisting on meeting and I don't want to meet him. Co-Worker is around, we've been seeing each other more often, a couple times a week, but our interaction is very professional, and yeah there's the occasional friendly chat, nothing more, not even much flirting. So sad. I need more men.... more flirting, more anything....  I guess part of it is due to the fact that I've been staying away from the internet, but I just feel like I need "reality".

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Going back home to N. America was amazing. I've even been talking about moving back there. I'd love to spend more time with my friends back home.

I went to a wedding. It was my best friend marrying another of my best friends. 

It was the single most beautiful wedding I've been to, and I've seen quite a few. It was sweet, heartfelt, spontaneous, simple, fun, and family/friend oriented. 

When I think of weddings I normally think of the grand affairs with hundreds of people, caterers, photographers and dollars spent on everything.

This was the opposite. It focused on feelings, memories, family and love. 

I spent time with the people I grew up with, my second family and I cried when I left.

I've been toying with the idea of going back for years. I could set up a three year plan to go back too. If I work hard, make a bit of money and apply for citizenship here I could get a European passport and come and go as I please in Europe, working where I want. Who knows.... One thing at a time I guess.