Saturday, September 19, 2015

Blackbeard is back

I got a message on Fb the other day from a guy I've written about before. He's a local artist and he's a hottie. I think I referred to him as Blackbeard. I have had a fair amount of work related contact with him since that post including a drunken evening with friends where he was present. I provided the chips...
Anyhow the message on Fb was to ask me if I could do a translation for him, I accepted and we talked briefly about work, but when that was over he sent me a couple stickers on Fb chat. I sent him a couple back and then it just didn't end. We must have sent over 30 stickers in all. Some of which were almost verging on flirting, there were a few stickers with question marks over their heads, and others saying Hmmm... god only knows what was going on there. I'd like to say it was him flirting with me, but I can't be jumping to conclusions seeing as he's got a wife and two kids.

It's a busy time of the year. School is starting, people are calling for private lessons, we have massive groups of students at the art school where I work and I'm whirling around trying to get my bearings.

Here I am trying to sort out my trip to England and keep my mind on work... Not easy.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

London is Real

I'm leaving in exactly 20 days. It's starting to hit me. I picked up a trinket for Rob and I will be buying train tickets. I talked to my best friend, who I'm meeting after seeing Rob and we sorted out a meeting time and place and where we're staying in London after we meet. Turns out they scored us a free flat. So we're saving cash, yay.

Schedule is:
-Monday morning I work. (boo)
-I get the bf to drive me right to the airport.
-Fly out mid afternoon
-layover in Brussels
-Fly into the UK that evening.
-Rob picks me up at the airport.
-We drive to our hotel.
-Sleep one night (fuck sex fuck)
-drive to another town and spend the day there (more fucking)
-sleep (more sex than sleeping)
-another full day (some fucking)
-sleep  (last sex)
-I meet my friends in a nearby town.
-We then drive into London
-we all fly out at the same time Sunday morning.
-Back to work Monday with hell week.

Tour de force I must say. I'm excited though. Very excited. I can't wait. I'm really looking forward to seeing Rob again. I can't wait to spend time together, just hanging out. I'm obviously in anticipation of good sex. I am especially looking forward to seeing my friends. I'm going to enjoy showing them around London. I have to write up a list of places to show them. So much to see, so little time. Maybe we can get wasted. I haven't done that in a while.

Friday, September 11, 2015

The Deepest Intimacy.

I had a boyfriend years ago. He wasn't my first, but he was my most important apart from the bf. We were together a year. He was not entirely sane, though he wasn't completely crazy. I think the crazy in him is what made him such a pivoting point in my life. I was supposed to marry him. We travelled Mexico together for 6 months and half way through the trip, sometime around my birthday, he asked me to marry him, rings and all. He got me a silver and amber ring. I said yes. I had just turned 18.

Just after we met, after we'd been dating for a while, we hadn't had sex yet, he took me into his basement room and we made love. We were naked, interlocked, his cock buried inside me and he looked straight into my eyes and said to me, if we're going to do this you have to be 100% open with me, don't shy away from anything, we have to give 100% of ourselves to each other.

Up to this point in my life I was shy. I was not entirely capable of sharing my emotions with people. I would clam up when angry or upset. He made me promise that I couldn't do that with him and I kept my promise. I tried my hardest to reveal every inch of my being to him. He taught me how to feel connected to everything. He taught me to be true to myself. He taught me to trust completely.
Sex with him was not sex. It was another dimension. It's the only way I can describe it. It was like entering an entirely different head-space. It was the most complete I've ever felt and that intimacy was so intense it was like we were one entity: mind, spirit, bodies.

The story doesn't end well, obviously, otherwise I'd still be with him. He cheated on me. He did ask me first though, I give him that, he was partially honest. I couldn't deal with his lust for his ex girlfriend and I forced him to choose between keeping me and fucking her. I gave him a week to decide. During that week he hosted a Halloween party and they fucked. I found out through his brother.

The goal of this post is not to bring up painful memories of the end of that relationship though. The intimacy of that relationship is something I miss a lot. I have never experienced that again with anyone and it's probably the closest I've ever been to 'true' love. Opening yourself to someone to that extent though is possibly one of the most dangerous things you can do. It leaves you entirely vulnerable and in my case, weak and pushed back further, in terms of trust, than I was when I met him.

It's sad how I crave that but at the same time know that I'll likely never feel it again because of my trust issues. I'm not sure I even remember how to be that intimate with someone.

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Sex, Bacon and Pancakes.

He said 20 minutes. Shower. Dress. Call. Both tired, both exhausted. Long day for both of us. Silence, ok silence, not too uncomfortable. He rests his brain, I think of things. We talk about our meeting. Fucking. Sex. What kind of sex we want and like. I explain I like sex where I lose control. He likes it when I stay in control.
He'll make me pancakes. I want bacon. He asks how I like it. He already knows I want it crispy, the bacon that is. I don't know how he knows. He just does.
More talk of sex, of clothes, of furniture of spanking and bashing. I help myself to my clit. I'm wet, I could be wetter. We talk about stockings, thigh high, stay ups. Wetter now. He describes from behind, panties pulled to one side, pushing in and out. Bashing he says. Pounding. and he cums on my ass, all over my panties, pushes his dripping cock back inside me and then slips into my mouth. I came. I came hard. He asks as I cum, are you losing control? and I laugh, laughing so hard my orgasm prolongs... The contractions are like hiccups, following my laughter. I finish and I catch my breath. By that point I couldn't remember what he'd said anymore. I'd lost it. I lost myself. Just the way I like it.

*I needed to get this down, but didn't know how to write it so it's a stream of consciousness style. Excuse the scattered randomness of it.*

Tuesday, September 1, 2015


I kinda want one of these....