Saturday, April 20, 2013

An Interview.

Hey Cande! How are things?

Things are crazy right now. I'm working like a maniac and I haven't had time to do anything for myself really.

How's that apartment thing going?

Oh that... Well today I went to the agency and gave them a written offer for the place. I asked for 550 Euros completely furnished.

Why did you decide to ask for that?

Well my original plan was to ask for the place at 500 Euros with just a kitchen (yeah rental places here don't have ANY furnishings, including kitchens), but in the end if I have to furnish the place myself it would be more expensive. I'd rather have them do it and I don't have to worry about how to get the furniture to the apt.

And when will you know the answer? Do you think the owner will accept?

Hopefully by next week. I'm not sure if he'll accept, I'm just keeping my fingers crossed. If he doesn't accept I might make another offer, or I might just leave it. The floor plan isn't the greatest solution for my needs so we'll see.

How has the Bf been dealing with it all?

It's been kinda strange really. He's been really good. I have been having a hard time understanding how much to involve him in this process. I asked him if he wanted to come to the appointment with the agency today. I wasn't sure I wanted him there but then I started asking him questions about what was going to happen so he suggested he come along. I was somewhat relieved that he did.

Once there he wouldn't stop talking again, like he does when he's nervous. But at one point he went on a long monologue to the agent about how I'm so innocent and "good" and I don't give money any importance and that I don't have a bad bone in my body. He was trying to convince her not to take advantage of me. The whole talk made me cry. I was bawling inside but I managed to hide the tears and keep a straight face. I kept smiling and shaking my head at both the agent and at him to say it wasn't exactly true. It was rather rough though. I told him, when we left, that he'd made me want to cry I explained that he'd said some really nice things about me that weren't true (I can't take compliments) and he said it was the only way anyone could describe me.

So when do you move in?

If the owner accepts the offer I think August more or less.

Have you talked to Rob recently?

Rob, rob, rob... I spoke with him directly in a Skype conversation last week. It only lasted 20 minutes and I think we needed more than that. We seem to need a preliminary awkward chat and then we settle back into each other's comfort zone and we ease up. We're both so shy that it takes a bit before we get comfortable with each other's voices.

I have been quiet lately, I haven't been getting in touch with him much because we decided to leave that up to him.

I got in touch with him on Thursday evening though, when I got news of Storm Thorgerson's death. We'd been in a music art gallery together and could have bought his prints. We've sent a few emails back and forth but it's the weekend and I won't likely hear from him until next week.

Our meeting is constantly in the back of my mind. His voice, or rather memories of him telling me naughty things under his breath creep into my mind at unexpected times. English people on tv will remind me and I'll just go catatonic for a few moments until I can gather my wits again.

I don't remember the last time we got off together or vice versa he got me off or I him, so I miss that. I miss him in general but that can't be quenched so I can't really complain.

How are YOU feeling about all the change?

It's scary but at the same time I'm happy. I'm happier than I've been in a long time, though I'm not sure if that's just because it's spring, sunny and maybe because I don't have time to think, I'm working like a dog. Bf is getting out more now too, he's found some stuff that he enjoys doing in the evenings. So we're getting along very well. I think my peace of mind means a lot for the relationship. I feel like I'm taking a big step. Both in terms of my work, with my new business number finally coming together in a way that I can use it, and with the mental move from living with bf to him getting his place and me getting mine.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Another Apartment?

Thanks all for the well wishes. It's hard to lose a pet, but as many of you said, it's worth having them around. They're company is priceless.

I went to check out a new apartment the other day. I told bf I was going and since we've been doing a lot together in the past few days we decided to go together. It was a little strange, he did say that if I didn't want him to go he wouldn't get offended, but I said, hey why not, come along.

I half regretted it but at the same time it was useful to have him there. The owner was there and he seems like a genuinely nice person. Bf tends to talk too much when he's a little nervous so he rambled and rambled and rambled and I just wanted to do the talking myself. I even told bf before we left, let me talk. But he didn't.

Whatever, no harm was done I imagine. The place is interesting, it's the right size, but the set-up is terrible. It's on two floors, and I'd have to have the "living room/guest room" in the basement along with my work studio/laundry room. Upstairs I'd have the bedroom, kitchen and an entrance/large room where I'd teach and paint. It could work, but it would take a little organizing. I'd also be going up and down the stairs a lot with a living room downstairs and a bedroom upstairs.

The price is high though. They want a €100 more than the first place I'd found, so €660 but I'm going to see if I can get them down to €550.

The good thing is that it's closer to where I work and the centre of town. It's only a 5 minute walk from town instead of the 20-30 minute walk from the other apartment I'd found. PLUS it's on a super quiet street. I've got a large garden/patio almost all to myself. The owner lives upstairs but only part of the year since he travels a lot and has a second house in another part of the country. I'd say it's ideal....
Totally renovated, new tiles, two large bathrooms. One with a gorgeous shower with a built in seat.

We'll see how that goes.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013


My bird passed away last night.

Believe it or not I looked over at his perch and got a slight chill around the time he passed on.

There's an empty space where his perch was. Bf took it down right away. We buried him in the garden behind the house. When we got home from the vet's I sat down and cried, bf came to hug me and miracle of miracles, cried too.

It frustrates me to no end how he deals with his emotions, but I can't exactly be judgmental on that front. I'm not great with mine either.

Monday, April 8, 2013


Thanks everyone for the lovely comments about HNT. You know how I love HNT, even though I never have time to take pictures anymore.

Things are moving forward on the apartment front. I'm going to see another apartment tomorrow afternoon. Though the owner is asking a lot for the place. It's ideal though. Perfect almost, we'll see though what it's like and how they take an offer.

Bf and I went to look at tiling for his new apartment. It's all so weird and often anxiety or fear filled but the tension doesn't last long and we iron it out quickly. I fear interfering in his choices so I try to back off, give him some help in aesthetic choices but ultimately the decisions are his.

There has been a major problem at home though. We've had a parrot for 15 years. We bought him together and hand trained him. He wasn't actually supposed to stay with us, the parrot was initially a gift for bf's mom, but she refused to take him in so we got "stuck" with him.

A few days ago the bird got sick, he stopped eating and was just sleeping. Things progressed and got worse so we took him to the vet Friday. By Sunday he got taken in and is laying on his side in a hermetic chamber with 99.9% pure oxygen. He's asleep and well, he looks like death on a stick.
Poor thing, I cried all Sunday convinced he wasn't going to make it through the night but he did and was up and getting around this morning. Once they gave him another injection of antibiotics though he collapsed on the floor of the chamber. We're hoping he'll survive but we're not sure how it's going to go.

Fact is, it just seems like he's really feeling our separation. It sounds crazy, but the bf, our neighbour and I all thought of it.

Last night bf and I stayed close in bed, no sex though and just holding each other or my foot over his. We both had a restless sleep knowing the parrot was at the vet's. Today I feel better but I'm sad and worried of course. I miss him if he isn't here, he's just part of the household, part of our routine, part of our lives together. After 15 years I'd be pretty upset to lose him.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Sex and HNT! How exciting is that??

Ok so here's a sexy posting.

I had lots of crazy sex with the bf day before yesterday. I think part of our problem is that we don't have sex for ages and then when we do it's like, crazy insane sex that we can't get enough of. So we wear each other out a bit I guess. We need to take things a bit slower.

The sex was excellent, many different positions, many different styles and speeds. Just the way I like it. I got off twice. The highlight was me sitting on top of him, reverse cowboy, leaning back on one hand, and knees bent in front of me, his hands holding my ass up so he could fuck me from below, and I still had access to my clit.

HNT is up. it's on the Other HNT by Osbasso. Make sure to leave lots of praising comments below the pictures and visit the participant sites if they've been linked to.

The last bit of Sexyness is for all you men out there who aren't participating in a sabbatical from masturbation.... lol sorry, I had to pull your legs a little, Tom and Advizor.

This is a little video that I watched last week and really, really... really enjoyed. I think I got off three times that day, with a break in between mind you.