Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Ready, Set, GO!

Tomorrow morning I leave. Bf and I are heading to a nearby town for a concert and are staying in a hotel for the night and then Thursday I head to the nearby airport and fly to Paris.

I have just under 5 days there then a few in London. I head north the art course I'm looking forward to and the day after Rob, rob rob rob.... yeah... that makes me smile.

I can't explain it. I feel calm and ready yet I'm really really looking forward to this. The whole trip will be fantastic. Rob will be the icing on the cake. I'll be seeing all sorts of friends too, people from back home are going to be in Paris while I'm there, and another friend from here will be in London while I'm there.

It'll be a very busy trip but that's good. I like being busy while traveling.

So I guess that's all I need to say. I'll be reporting from my trip I'm sure. I'll have internet off and on for the whole trip. Paris will be a little slower as I'll only have wifi in my hotel, but in the UK I'll have internet on my phone.

Right! Wish me luck! ;-D


Friday, June 21, 2013

Dream influence

I'm sure I've written about this topic in the past. Dreams are powerful things and sometimes I get one that just changes everything for me.

Last night I got a call from one of my students, he asked me if he could come for a lesson. He's a University student that I got up to conversational speed for job interviews as his courses were ending. I hadn't heard from him or seen him in months and got that surprise call last night at about 10pm.

He's not a good looking kid. He's already balding, he's only 22 or so. He's average, certainly nothing too exciting. The strange thing is that when I was teaching at one of the local high schools he was in one of my classes and I somehow remembered him when he came for private lessons a few months back.
Anyhow my point being that I've known this kid for a while if you count that I met him when he was in his first year of high school and he has now finished university.

Let's get to the dream... So the dream was bizarre and I don't know what the surrounding circumstances were. All I can remember is that we were in bed together and he wanted to seduce me. He wanted to hold me, to kiss me, to run his leg up my thighs and I kept pulling away, telling him that I couldn't. That I had a boyfriend. We were fully clothed, both of us. He was wearing shorts, it was warm and we had just a sheet floating around between us.

Fact is that when I get dreams like this it totally alters my view of the person. I seem to create a stronger connection with them. Today when he came it was strange for me, almost awkward at first and it's all so one sided.

During our lesson today my mind would occasionally slip to the dream. And there was something that would grab my attention and turn me on. Don't, for one second, think that I find this kid attractive. I don't he's an odd looking guy with strange mannerisms. Maybe it's the heat. Maybe it's just cause I've been horny because of the imminent meeting with Rob... in any case yeah, it was strange.

Monday, June 10, 2013


One month on the 7th equals 4 weeks....or 28 days.....or 672 hours more or less. Yeah I'm counting. I don't know if I've really ever looked forward to a meeting with Rob this much.

I think the other times I was more anxious. This time it feels easier. Part of it has to do with the fact that we've done it before and I know what to expect. Part of the tension is eased by the fact that there's a lot to do and see where we're going so it eases our initial awkwardness.

 It's not like we'll run out of things, but its nice to have lots of options. We're both so shy that it can be a bit daunting, I think, to have to deal with someone on a 24hr basis and know what to talk about for the whole time. Being in places, cathedrals, museums etc... Will give us plenty to talk about. 

When we're on the phone we rarely use video anymore and it seems to placate our senses. We're not as shy and we don't get stuck on what to talk about as much as we used to. Maybe we've just finally gotten accustomed to each other's company, in any case we're capable of talking on the phone for hours without having much in the way of awkward silences. 

I do miss seeing his face though, even on video. I caught a glimpse of him today as he was going to show me the cake he'd made. I don't think he noticed, or maybe he did, but I loved every split second of it. 

Time for some Zzzzs 

Monday, June 3, 2013

Diamonds in the Shit.

Today was a day that I might remember for a while. It was a shitty day but it definitely had it's sparkling moments of wonder. There are a few reasons for this.

I've still been having health issues, so I was in a shitty mood about that for the past two days. I had a fight with the bf today possibly due to my shitty mood, but he hasn't been much help either. I saw my doc who wasn't helpful at all and basically told me that I'd tried all the meds she knew of and just pointed me in the direction of a specialist which is going to cost an arm and a leg.

The flip side though is that I got a lovely long email from Rob and a text saying he'd booked the hotel for our meeting. It made me smile uncontrollably and just feel so much better. It's about all I can think of these days. My mind just keeps wandering to that and people notice and often point it out.

Today I also had a longish conversation with co-worker. I popped my head in at work to say hello, I wasn't working just hanging out and even with the other staff there we got to talking. People were asking how I was doing health wise and one of the staff said that I just need to get out of the country, move somewhere warm (with a better climate) and get a new bf, a new life, you know just get out.

Co-worker didn't hear that but when the weather conversation continued (it's been really unusually cold and wet here, summer is super late) he said "you know, we got it all wrong, you and I... we should have got married and moved to Brazil." Don't ask me my reaction, I don't remember, I imagine I laughed. I think I agreed too. And something tells me he wasn't far off from being serious.

When the rest of the staff had gone to lunch I lingered and we talked some more. Talked about life and our present situations with work and such. He mentioned that he could tell my head was whirring, that I'm distracted by all the thoughts going through my mind. I like his acuteness (no pun intended), he notices every little thing with me. I barely notice those details for myself half the time. He also knows there's a lot going on with me. He pics up on it fast and he turns and tells me to smile.
There's nothing I can do about it. I just really like him.