Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Purple People Eater

I'd like a little space to rant. You can skip this post if you want to avoid hearing me moan about how frustrating I find people. 
I'm running so, so low on patience. 

1) I do not have patience for women who make snide comments about me to my face, in front of friends. I can't stand those comments that seem like innocent, funny pokes but are, in reality, envy or some other shit. I've been hearing the same Goddammned snide remarks for years from women who are supposed to be my friends. 

2) when I organize a party I want people to actually have the courtesy to let me know if they decide NOT to come after they said they were coming. 

3) when organizing a party I would like people to tell me how many guests they are bringing.... Before the party starts. 

4) when organizing a party, if it is a costume party I would suggest you wear a costume, I don't really want to be the only fucking adult with makeup on... Next time I'll make you all wear garbage bags. 

5) if you are in a class learning English with a group of other adults, please have the courtesy to let other people speak too. 

6) if I tell a student something, it's because I know the answer. If I don't, I'll tell you that I don't know. I don't make shit up. If you are at an English lesson, you are a student and chances are I know what I'm talking about and you haven't got a clue. Don't challenge every fucking thing I say please. 

7) to my boss who proudly stated she did the same lesson that I do but in half the time, fuck you. You forgot that it normally takes us an hour and a half to do ice breaker presentations which you DIDN'T do before starting your lesson. No shit it took you half the time. 

Having said all that I have to say that I hosted a Halloween party and I always really enjoy Halloween, I love dressing up and I love organizing big parties. I enjoyed my party but I really need to find better people to invite. I love my friends but they are just frickin' boring at this sort of thing. 


Peter Princip said...

I feel ya with the costume thing. I prepared months in advance. Makeup, contact lenses, costume, everything. Then the family drama happened and their party was cancelled.

No problem, I will dress up in Vegas...but nobody would dress up with me.

No problem, I will dress up at home...nobody would dress up and the other invite was turned down without even asking me if I wanted to go...

I LOVE Halloween and it seems like every year I am all alone with a bunch of boring adults...

Advizor54 said...

1 – “Friends” who continually make comments about the same topic, be it physical appearance, a weakness for sweets, a penchant for romantic comedies, or political affiliation, aren’t friends at all. I look like I look and I know it. I use a mirror, you have no need to point out anything about myself. I am aware, I KNOW WHO I AM, and if I can be happy with it, why can’t you? And if you don’t like my politics, don’t bring them up during election season.

2 – I’ve had parties from 6 to 300 and yes, I still need to know if you are coming or not.

3 – If I didn’t invite your friends, I didn’t want them there. Building the guest list is my job, don’t ruin my party dynamic by bringing your racist friend.

4 - OMGOSH YES!!! This is not a fancy ball, it is for fun. Get in the spirit you stick in the mud. Halloween is for the young at heart. Don’t bring our grandpa vibe in here.

6 – And if I was “making this shit up” you’d still have to listen because I’m the teacher. Challenges come from a place of weakness and we’ve seen enough of yours today.

7 – Yes!!! When my boss gives me crap for not finishing “on time” I ask him when he last finished a project charter, risk assessments, vendor analysis, and all the other crap he requires of the rest of us. Finishing quickly is easy when you skip most of the steps.

Halloween is my favorite holiday when I have time to work on it. I help my kids look good, I try to have something good each year, and even if I don’t (like this year), you can do a lot with $5 makeup and a good idea (thanks to you know who).

And, if you come to my door without a costume, no candy for you. Back in the street buddy.

Osbasso said...

Do you need my address? I'd love to come to your Halloween party!