Tuesday, December 6, 2011


Christmas is on it's way. My father is coming to visit for a week around the holidays. I'm really excited about it. I just wish I could be in India with him and my sister at the moment. I'd just love to have that opportunity again... will it arise? probably not.

Things with bf have been going surprisingly well. I have "moments of quite desperation", that I'm not sure whether I surpress or overcome. I can't quite tell right now. I still feel the urge to get out.
We had some decent sex the other night. I've been suffering from kidney stones again so it wasn't anything spectacular, but I did get off.
I've learned that if I want to get off when we have sex the first time after a long dry spell, I really have to work at it. A lot of clitoral stimulation, but it works and it seems to turn him on.

I even tried getting him to talk to me. But it didn't really work. I guess I kinda put him on the spot, but I eased the tension immediately taking things (literally) into my own hands

I have been planning... and scheming, and yes I think I'll be heading over there again to see him. In March probably. We've talked about it quite a bit, and this has also stimulated more frequent contact, or maybe not, maybe it's just me, and I've had some extra free time.

I love the little things with him. We caught each other on Skype one day, it was a nice conversation, nothing sexual, just random thoughts and stuff like two old friends. But I later got an email simply stating how he enjoyed our conversation but that he was looking forward to getting some pussy. It made me smile.

I later decided to send him a pic of my town. I've never sent him anything of where I live. I felt a bit strange doing it. But he liked it.

Then last night we got each other off online. Every time we get off, he takes time to just watch me. He holds his phone up, horizontal to his body, over his face, and he just watches. I love love love the look on his face when he watches me.

I haven't really been working much, things have been slow at work. I did go in the other day for an hour or so. When I arrived, Co-Worker blocked my path, stood square in front of me 2 inches from my face and stared me down. He just stood there, not a word. It's not the first time. He does this on occasion. At least once a week when I'm working my full hours there. I still can't understand what it means, if anything. But I re-read my offline diary entries from Greece and I've realized that I need to trust my gut instinct more.
I ignored it my whole trip with him. But I was right all along, so I need to stay true to the senses I get.


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Lyla said...

I thought you had broken up with your boyfriend? Probably didn't read properly. It sounds like your co-worker is going out of his way to be enigmatic, or mind-fuck you in other words. Ignore him.