Why does everything always end up happening all at once?
It's been a crazy couple of days. There have been a lot of highs and lows. Mostly lows.
The highs were the texting with co-worker which still has me reeling and my mind whirrs and I love it so I can't complain about that. I'm frustrated that I have no way to communicate with him about how I feel though. I know he doesn't want to get into text chats about it. While we were in Corfu he was very clear that he was the one who made decisions in this. So I just wait on him I guess.
I emailed a few times with Rob sent him some pics. Although I haven't had the chance to talk to him since he got back from his holiday. I've been really yearning just to talk to him on the phone. Anything.
I had sex with bf twice in two days ... that's pretty rare. The 1st time was intense and I loved it and still get off on the thoughts and memories around it. I really can't complain about sex with the bf it's ALWAYS good and I almost always get off. He had me in a position yesterday that got me off so fast.... It'll be hard to explain and it was in all honesty a very strange position. But there was something about it that just... mmmmm.
We were fucking from a side position. So: facing each other lying on our sides, my leg over his hip. He started pushing fingers into my mouth, and eventually his thumb made its way in, all the way in, deep. Then he did something strange, something he's never done before. He pushed my head down, then my shoulders, until I was basically folded in half on my side, with my shoulders at the height of his belly. His thumb still deep in my throat and his other hand on the back of my neck. It was like he was pushing me to go down on him, but his cock was deep in my pussy. But it felt like he was expecting me to suck him off, and his thumb delved deeper into my mouth, limiting on my throat. He pushed in rhythm both his cock and thumb, and well I was stimulating my clit and... yeah, that did it.
My best friend back home is leaving her abusive husband and I've been worried about her and it has been rough, especially for her, but strangely also for me. Let's just say our lives are very tightly intertwined. I think I've mentioned before that she married my Ex...
Then there's my citizenship. I found out that I can request a citizenship this year (which was a high for me). But the Italian bureaucracy is so contorted that I need to prove that I make 8000 Euros a year when legally as a freelance worker I can't earn more than 5000 Euros. WTF is up with that?? ugh
It's the frustration that makes me want to cry. I couldn't care less about the actual citizenship (except for the fact that I could work in other parts of Europe.)
Then there's my medical check up with a Rheumatologist yesterday. I went back hoping to get some more clarification on my Fibromyalgia and basically was hoping he'd tell me that the doctor who diagnosed me was wrong. It didn't quite go that way. He confirmed it and basically confirmed that all the problems I've had are all connected to the FM, so kidney stones, kidney infections, colics, chronic cough, sinus problems... and the list goes on and on...
In a half hour I'm going to call my doctor to let her know. I'm hoping she can get me a certificate stating that I don't need to pay for my healthcare with this kind of "illness" but I basically already know that it won't be covered.
Bf doesn't really get the Fibro thing. I brought him along to the appointment in hopes that he'd "get it". But he doesn't. Maybe I'm jumping the gun. We only had one conversation about it today. We've been joking around a lot these days making a lot of jokes about one another and taking things generally very lightly. Sometimes I find it hard to figure out if he's being serious or not. Time will tell though I guess.
It's one problem I've had with him in the past though, just not accepting that I have any kind of illness. He thinks I make things up. He thinks they are psychosomatic or that I' a hypochondriac, and I often feel like one at times, there are just so many symptoms it sucks.