Sure it can't always be like that but I think that many men are afraid to just take. Afraid of getting blamed for using and abusing. But there's a difference between using and abusing. Or maybe they'd like to but are shy or self conscious.
I personally get turned on by whatever turns him on. Sure there are limits, but those can be established beforehand.
Not having to make decisions is my own personal bliss. Utterly submitting is something I have yet to try.