On my last post I got some great suggestions from Anon. I will consider them each.
I think for most of the suggestions though there needs to be an openness about my decision that I'm not sure I'm ready to share with the bf just yet. Apart from my being rather shy and not 100% able to talk to the bf about sex easily, It's always such a difficult topic with him, it's difficult to bring up because it makes him more uncomfortable than me which in turn makes me uncomfortable.
-Make time to be together without distractions (no phone, TV, computer)
Easy to say, not so easy to do... however it is worth a try and if we manged to talk about this whole thing it would probably get woven into our conversation.
-Find reasons to get in bed (invite him to spend the night with nothing scheduled the next morning)
This doesn't happen often unfortunately. I work weeks, he works weekends, while he doesn't often have anything on Sat or Sunday morning he's not up to much after work on those evenings, during the day on Saturday I work, and Sunday generally gets taken up by the rest of life.... seeing friends etc.
-Find excuses to get naked (massage, shower, lingerie fashion show)This could work. I'd have to find the right things, massages work, shower possibly... fashion show: unlikely... long story, but suffice it to say he was a jerk and I was burned.
also think that getting over to his place where he feels like he is in
charge might help. He likes to be dominant, you like to be controlled,
perhaps arriving with a cute outfit, a chocker, and kneeling as you
greet him might do the trick.Yes, this makes sense and I'm sure we'll take some of our energy over to his place too. He is not the dominating type, he is quite the opposite, I think he prefers to be dominated. I am often too shy to take any steps there so unless he says something to me about it we'll just play along the lines we always have. I've shown him how to be slightly dominating with me but more than that he won't go. As for showing up in cute outfits... again it's connected to the burn from a surprise I set for bf years ago and I'm not going through that humiliation again.
-you also might want to share your goal with him. If my partner set such a goal I'd certainly help them meet it.
See first paragraph... yes, probably the best course of action let's hope I can manage it.
Has anyone here ever tried scheduling sex, like totally writing it into a calendar? Do you think it would be a mood killer or would it be like a fun play-date?