Friday, June 24, 2016

Grinning Girl

I've been grinning again.

It's all Rob's fault of course. It started earlier this week with him getting ideas of FFM scenarios, he sent me messages, then I wanted to know what videos he'd been watching and he sent me a few things that distracted me from the typing job I have on right now. I would type 5 pages then get myself off, type another 5 pages and get myself off again. It's also the heat. It's hot here all of a sudden. Hot enough to sit still and sweat and that's the yummiest kind of heat, the sexiest heat. It makes me so fucking horny.

Yesterday I was typing again and we started with iMessages back and forth. Slowly working up to pictures of me in summer attire, short shorts and crop tops, then on to my new bikinis. He was supposed to be cleaning out his garage. I was supposed to be typing.

I knew I wouldn't resist long after showing off bikinis. I knew I'd have to get myself off eventually and I told him so. He said he'd watch.
Shortly after, (a page and a half typed up later), I asked him what bikini I should wear for him. "You choose".

We met on Skype. I was wearing the bikini he picked out for me last year, (he helped me buy it). It's white with coloured puzzle pieces and candy like bobbles. The bottom came off fast, and I came shortly after that. I went on to number two as well and left it at that since I was dripping from the heat. Temperature as well as sexually. He simply talked into my ear, begged me to cum for him. It was perfect, as usual. He said it wasn't fair, and why wasn't I bent over his kitchen counter.

After we chatted about a few things. He mentioned he'd been cleaning out his garage and had found the bowls he'd made with me during our pottery class (2 years ago?!). He wants me to have them. I'd be happy to have them. He admitted that he was putting together a package for me. I could barely believe it. I didn't want to get my hopes up. I wasn't sure if he'd actually send it or not.

Today I got the text that it's been sent. Hence the grinning.
Of course that's mixed with some anxiety. Mostly around explaining the objects coming in the mail and why and who, etc, but I'm sure it'll be fine.

I love it when I can't keep myself from grinning. I know I shouldn't. Someone's going to notice, someone's going to look at me and figure me out. It's a grin that's so different from when you just find something funny. It's a whole facial expression, I can feel that the muscles are different than just looking at funny cat videos on FB, or at someone's sarcastic comment.

On a scarier note, it dawned on me, fairly recently that if Rob's wrist doesn't heal properly from the pin surgery then he won't have any more excuses to travel, which will be the end of us meeting up. I don't want to think about it, I prefer to live in ignorant bliss for now. I'm sure things will be fine, but yes, it's in the back of my mind. Very selfish of me, I do worry about his wrist healing in general for his sake, but I am also very selfish yes.

Also this happened...
The bf  bought his mother a smartphone. He's been using everyone else's phones to help her learn. Yesterday he insisted I unlock my phone for him so he could call his mother. Why he didn't ask me to call her I don't know. He seemed suspicious, but oddly enough I haven't done anything suspicious in his presence in ages. So he browsed my contact list, I was anxious the whole time, I used the excuse of showing him how to find his mother's name to see what he was doing. The problem isn't my contact list, that's safe, there are so many names and numbers there no-one would be able to decipher who is who. The problem is that I'd just finished texting Rob. There were texts about fucking and I hadn't deleted them... hypothetically, if he'd seen those texts and not understood but scrolled through he'd have found the pictures. I rarely delete texts these days because with the phone being fingerprint locked there's no real need. Now I'm thinking I should. I am a sentimental twat and want to hold on to everything so I can't just delete these things, first I need to save them, then I can delete them. For now I've moved my messages icon out of plain sight. I suppose that will work for now.


Advizor54 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Peter Princip said...

I absolutely understand how you felt with your phone in his hands. A quiet panic, desperately thinking of a way to pull it out of his hands for any reason if he comes close to your messages or photos.

I delete messages, it is too risky to have them there. I save photos to a password protected picture program that looks like a calculator, then delete them from my photos and the photo trash can...

I also block numbers when I am spending any time with my spouse or family. I have the fingerprint lock on my phone, and I try and not hook up the bluetooth to the car unless the numbers are locked.

With all of this, I am still nervous and I don't like anyone in my phone. I never go into her phone either, I have made a point of telling her that I do not, nor would I.

Couples we know have each others passwords, they share all photos, they have the tracking software active, all the stuff. If it were for love then I would be OK with it, but usually it is for lack of trust.

Moments like what you experienced is one of the reasons I am changing my lifestyle, I don't want to deal with the fear of privacy anymore.

Cande said...

Advizor: I'll think about the pics... it's a possibility... As for the phone, I did politely tell him no a few times and then went on to argue with me so I let him have it. I

Peter: so what's the new lifestyle? are you cleaning up then? Fingers crossed for you. Be strong.

Fellow Canuck said...

Here is a stupid guy question. Who is your ideal third person f or m?

Fellow Canuck said...

Here is a stupid guy question. Who is your ideal third person f or m? Describe him and/or her.

Cande said...

Canuck: you know, I don't think I have one. I think that any woman or man that I'm attracted to would be fine in a threesome, but I do need that attraction. I don't have any one type of person that I'm attracted to either. I like all types. I don't particularly like massive built up guys. I tend to go for lankier, scrawny or lean men. I tend to go for both light haired men and dark haired men. As for women, I am attracted to women with similar body types to mine: Thin and petite, I do also like women with medium breasts and hips. I'm really not too fussy though. Face is important, it has to be a nice face, both on him and her. And personality should be a factor. I can't fuck someone that makes me cringe as soon as they open their mouths.

Advizor54 said...

I shouldn't have asked for pics. That wasnt right. Sorry 'bout that.

My phone gets cleaned up every night before i pull into thw driveway. 😋 but i still wonder if i missed anything when anyone borrows it

Fellow Canuck said...

Have you ever pity fucked someone? If so why?

Cande said...


To be honest I can't think of a single episode where I've not been completely into the sex with the person. I have only one memory of a date rape, where I just gave in. I have another memory of having sex where we were both so drunk it was boring and totally uneventful and I regretted it after, but other than that no, pity sex, no.

Peter Princip said...

Yes, I am trying to turn things around. Here is a link to my blog again, not sure if you still have it.

Secret Life of a Gentleman

Anonymous said...

Cande: Get yourself Threema(
It transmits crypted only and you have to enter a password to unlock it on ur mobile.

Your bf most likely won t know it anyway.
But even if he is cruising on ur phone, threema will be locked even after unlocking ur phone.

Double secure u might say.