Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Girl on Girl

When I was a child I had very early sexual experiences. I've written about them before but something recently came up and I felt like I should approach them again.

When I was little, I was introduced to masturbation at about the age of 4 or 5. It was a girl, a child, a little older than myself who, without touching me, explained it. I believe that I had probably already known the sensation of release since infancy, I think infants, both boys and girls, go through it. However it isn't a conscious thing until someone brings it up.

I was happy to have learned this conscious and deliberate means to release. When I was a little older, my first year of school more or less, I met two sisters. They were twins. They also had a younger brother. I remember "playing" at their house and there were sexual themes. One of which involved their baby brother. I think we pretended to have sex with him, laying on top of him. It is a very vague memory. 

Some years later one of the two sisters confessed to me that, on occasion, she did something to her body to get a sensation of pleasure and we started doing it together, in each other's presence but without getting involved in the other's activities.

Then over time, all through elementary school we got more and more involved with each other. We made each other cum. She would make up fantasies about boys and I would play along. She loved trying different things inside me, she begged me to go down on her, I tried once because she insisted so much, but I couldn't do it. Not entirely true, I did it but only because she coated her pussy with honey first. Consider I was probably 10 or 11.

I never thought much of it, her twin sister suspected stuff was up but never said much. At some point things stopped. Not sure when, or why. 

Interestingly though, I was never attracted to her. I remember having massive crushes on boys even in my first year of school but never on any girls. I think with her, I simply went along with the sensation. I enjoyed the company. Enjoyed getting off, but that was it. 

Why has this come up now? On Fb the other day I saw that she got tagged in some photos, they were of her and another woman in very 'couple like' situations and I was relieved. I felt like she needed to come out. I think I suspected it in the back of my mind a few times. I wondered if she was gay, but now, I think/hope, I have confirmation.

Question now is, what is my sexual orientation. I've always wondered myself. I have only rarely been attracted to a woman as much as I am attracted to men. There has been the occasion where I've thought to myself, I could get into bed with her. I've even had instances where I got drunk enough to almost get myself into trouble with the wrong person. 

I would not be afraid of having a threesome with women, I would welcome it with the right woman/women... but I think all in all I prefer men. I've always liked boys. Funny though how my first basically full sexual experience was with a girl. 


A Fellow Canuck said...

So what did these experiences do to your relationship with honey?
What do you like your honey spread on?

Cande said...

Lol, I use it in my hot lemon and ginger water and with Greek yogurt, that's about it.

Fellow Canuck said...

Food and sex ... is either really good or so wrong.

Anonymous said...

The first time I read this it came across as abusive, almost coercive on the other girl's part, but as I read it again today it came across more gentle. Same words, different reading.

I wonder how deeply that it might have effected you, the early sexualization and the exposure to women in a non-voluntary situation.

The fact that this was with another girl, and not a boy, says a lot about our view of sex. If a boy had done this to you it would have been labeled as abuse without a second thought. They boy, even if he was as innocent as driven snow, would have been castigated as an abuser.

But, it was a girl, and so now it's just experimentation. An interesting background story to where you are today. Thanks for sharing.

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