Ghosts from the past.

So ages ago when I first started this blog I told a series of stories about past boyfriends and lovers and today while I was in the shower, for some odd reason someone popped into my mind who I hadn't thought of in decades.

The story begins with an odd intro mind you, it's not a happy intro but it does explain some things and well it helps exorcise my demons a little.

When I was in Jr. High I was fund raising for a school trip, by jumping around on the side of the road advertising a car wash we were doing with a friend of mine. We were goofy kids doing a Can-Can but it got clients in. At some point that day a man came by and asked me if I could help him learn English, he was Asian, I imagined Chinese. I was flattered and somewhat uncertain of the whole thing but I told him that I would talk to my parents about it and he could leave me his phone number. Keen on making some extra cash I ran to my parents and asked them if I could tutor this guy and long story short they met him and decided it was ok. He was in his mid 40s I think and I was in Jr high so that would make me 14 or so.

The lessons took place at his apartment. The first lesson was fine. We talked and when he had difficulty with certain words I helped him out, spelling things and explaining their meaning.
The second lesson got weird. Very weird. He asked if he could send his family in China some pictures of us together. He set up a tripod and sat me on his couch, sat next to me with his arm around me and took our picture, then another, then another, each one getting stranger in positions. I don't remember the full sequence of pictures, I just remember the last one where he had me lay down on the couch and pulled my sweater off my shoulder, and then he came over and laid on top of me trying to kiss me. I got up at that point and told him I had to leave. I promptly left.

I was shaking, afraid and disgusted. I hated him for taking advantage of me. I told my friends but dared not tell my parents. The story pretty much ended there. There were attempts to get my attention again but I ignored them.

This put me in an odd state of hatred toward Asian men. I have never been racist but I had a distinct turn off for Asian men. There was no way in hell I'd ever be attracted to a random Asian guy. A friend possibly but not if someone walked up to me in a bar.

Years later, when I was 18 I worked for a souvenir shop downtown run by an older Asian man. My manager was a young guy though, maybe 5 years older than me with a steady girlfriend he had a love hate relationship with but eventually ended in an engagement.
Peter was Vietnamese, he was fairly good looking but he didn't have the greatest skin. When I first started working there I was not attracted to him due to my fear of Asian men. I slowly warmed up to his personality though, he had a good sense of humour and he was generally nice as a boss. He would occasionally flirt. It was generally very subtle flirting mind you and I didn't always catch on.

The shop was quite big with a total of 5 stores, some of which were connected and one that wasn't. I worked in the one that was detached from the others, It also happened to be the one that had his office just above the store. There was a door just in front of the cashier counter, a staircase behind it and at the top: a tiny cubicle of an office with a desk, a computer and a little tv where the CCTV played non stop.

I knew there were cameras in the place but it wasn't until I got called into Peter's office that I realized that he could watch his staff. The cameras were pointed at the counters where we stood.

One day we were alone. It was evening, just before closing. He was in his office and I was cashing out. The doors were locked. He was talking to me through the ceiling (very thin ceiling) as he sometimes did at the end of the day, just our regular banter when there was a pause in the conversation and then he said, quite out of the blue "Do you want to be my lover?"
I stopped dead, smiled, I probably laughed, and said "you've got a girlfriend Peter!" in something that probably sounded halfway between surprise and shock.

I knew he was watching me, I looked up at the camera. I was impressed by his courage / non courage of actually asking me, though doing it behind closed doors when I couldn't see him but he could see me was rather cheeky. It did turn me on immensely though and It was fuel for numerous fantasies of mine, and no doubt his. However nothing happened. We were both very professional and kept our distances.

Shortly before I left at the end of the summer he asked me on a sort of a date. We went for Vietnamese lunch and then a motorcycle ride. It was the first time I'd been on a motorcycle since I was a kid with my dad. This was a racing bike, very sporty, very fast. He gave me his Gf's helmet and told me to hug him very tight but to follow his movements and not to counteract on corners. He took me on a windy-curvy road through the nearby forest full of massive Sequoias and Douglas firs typical of the area I grew up in. It was exhilarating, freezing cold, but I kept very tight to his back. It was comfortable. He wore a sexy, tight leather racing jacket that was white, blue and green. There was no talking. We stopped briefly in  a lot in front of a building to rest. I don't remember exactly anything much, we eventually turned back and that was the end of it. I never saw him again. Not a single kiss. Just a day out on the bike. Neither of us had the courage I guess.

Still I'll never forget him. I kind of regret not having acted on the fantasies. Sometimes I wonder whether people think back the way I do on certain events.

The Other HNT and Comments

Hey! I wanted to give the Other HNT a shout out. So remember HNT and all those hot pics? Or maybe that was before you started reading here. It was called Half Nekkid Thursday. It was an event where bloggers posted half nekkid pics of themselves on Thursdays as the name suggests. In any case Osbasso, the kind gentleman running HNT, opened a blog just for half nekkid pics! You should head over and favourite it or bookmark it or just stop by and show some love to the people who anonymously send pics (don't forget to check out past years cause there's some really great content). Comments seem to be few and far between over there which brings me to my next topic.

Is it just me or is there a general waning of comments on blogs lately? I get the feeling there's a dip in comments since people started using their smart phones more and more. Maybe I've been lazy and I haven't been doing my blogger duty of reading other blogs and commenting, it's something that can help attract new readers and commenters. Or maybe it's because the crowd that I hung with on blogger has pretty much dissolved.

Maybe it was easier to take the time to comment on a laptop. Maybe there are more work restrictions and people can't read or write from work now. 

The reason why I think it's due to smartphone use is that commenting from an app or the phone browser sucks. I noticed this when I've tried to reply to comments on my own blog from my phone. In any case I can say that my post stats are healthy, I get a good number of views for each post, on average 100-200. So people are reading, I just don't see the comments I used to see. 

Hello all you lurkers. *grin*

Pink

As you may have noticed I've dyed my hair pink. And no, there's no click thru today. I got to playing with an old photo elaboration app.

Moregasms

"What's that? number 3 and a half?" He asked me as I panted.
"Yeah there was something in between there. Like a mini climax."
"How do you want the next one?"
"Dunno. Maybe think up a situation." I said.

There's a moment between orgasms when my brain functions and there's just basic chit chatty conversation, but then I wander off into my brain as I listen to him talk.

"I still fantasize about you cumming inside me." I managed to get out before my brain receded into itself to listen.
"Oh but I did" he said quite matter of factly. And he proceeded to tell me a story.

As you were sleeping on your tummy I came up behind you and slowly, teasingly fucked you so as not to wake you up. Slipping my cock inside you gently, carefully. Watching your pussy get wetter and wider to accept me. Slipping the tip in and back out again, watching your hole stay open, wanting more. Sliding slowly deeper. Pulling out to stroke myself, afraid to wake you, getting closer, pushing myself back inside you, feeling how slippery you are and plunging myself as deep as I can go to fill you with cum. You still sleep, but moan and stir for more, your pussy dripping with cum. I slide my fingers inside you mixing our juices together, pushing my warm cum back into you. Wanting it to stay. As I pull my fingers out I turn you to wet your lips. Make you taste us on my hand, slip my fingers into your mouth, over your tongue, over your nipples.

Was I awake in the story at this point? I don't know, I just remember him adding more to the story to make me cum. He grabs my neck, forces his cock in and out of my watering mouth and fucks my pussy with his other hand.
The imagery of his dripping cock forced into my mouth, the taste of us filling my mouth, his hand blocking my air just slightly, had me cum so hard the neighbours likely heard me. 

Once finished, and able to breathe again, he said "Are you done?"
"No.... More please."
"Moregasms?" he replied
"That's a good word for it, did you make that up just now?"
"Yep" he said looking smug.

Little did we know, it already existed.

Broke

So I saw a poster for one of my favourite musicians playing in a town near here. My sister is visiting but she has to work on the weekend and can't come, and there's no way I'd be able to convince the bf to come see this. It's not his type of music (trip-hop) and definitely not his scene, not only that but it's at 1am in a town about an hour from here. 

All my other friends have kids or wouldn't like this type of thing so I'm left wishing I could go. 

I know I should be more assertive and go on my own but I really don't feel comfortable taking the bf's car, driving a half hour each direction to a place I've never been to before at rediculous hours of the morning on a Saturday night.... By myself. 

So yeah, I asked Rob to come. He's the only one that said yes. And with the impossibility of that ever happening I just dream. 

He has asked me when we could meet up again. It's a question I love and fear at the same time. I love it because it means he wants me/misses me but at the same time I never have an answer. Plus, it starts me thinking on when I can get over there again and with this massively expensive trip the bf and I just took I can't afford to do anything except work for the next while. I'm almost completely broke.  Boohoo. 

Alas I must work harder. 

The App

I'm horny. I used to be horny more often, I think it's mostly due to age and circumstance but one thing that both enlightens me and disconcerts me on this topic is my cycles app. It's an app that keeps track of my fertility and periods. It has saved me from a LOT of guess work. I never remembered to use my calendar as my mother tried to teach me. When a doctor asks me questions now, I always have an answer. If I want to plan sex it's easier but at the same time I know exactly why I'm hornier for a good 5 days out of the month. 

I'd rather not know that my body wants to make babies because it has an egg ready. It's just one of those things, I'd rather be oblivious to why I'm horny. I know I should just flow with it and have fun, and believe me I do, but it's still in the back of my mind and I feel like belittles the experience a little. 

I'm weird, I know. 

In a Nutshell.

Well, well, lookey, lookey. I'm back.

In a nutshell:

The trip was awesome. Incredible I'd say. Panama and Costa Rica are incredible places. There were so many aspects I loved. I would go back in a heartbeat. I especially loved the sheer quantity of wildlife in Costa Rica, especially an area called the Osa Peninsula. Between Panama and Costa Rica I got to see wild scarlet macaws flying free, not to mention hundreds of other types of parrots and toucans. We saw crocodile, caiman, sloths, 4 types of monkeys, dart frogs, glass frogs, lizards of all types including the Jesus Christ lizard (and yes I saw it walk on water), Eagle Rays, sharks, huge box fish, sting rays, barracuda, turtles galore, squid and numerous other beautiful fish while snorkeling or diving.

The Bf and I got along really really well. We had two arguments that ended with me in tears from sheer frustration, but they were minor and we got through them quickly.

I got food poisoning after 4 days in Panama City and was confined to a hotel bed for another 5 days. I was in hospital for 3 hours getting an IV for dehydration and to get my fever down. I couldn't hold down water. My temperature was 39°C/102°F.

They lost our luggage on the way home. So we're still waiting for our suitcases full of dirty clothes and souvenirs.

The bf and I had sex. more than once. Yay. The last time he wanted to get me off by hand, I wanted to ride him, but I didn't realize he had a short trigger and so when I went down on him he surprised me. I didn't get to cum that day and have been horny since.

I had my second ever 'wet dream' (for lack of a better term) the night before last. The dream was psychedelic and full of colours. Hard to describe, I'd say near impossible to describe. It made me cum. When I wake up in the morning after one of these events it feels surreal and like it barely happened. The orgasm is different from a normal orgasm, it's more prolonged and drawn out, it's intense but somehow subtle at the same time. It's like a vibration, a buzz that runs through my whole body and doesn't let go. The only way to make it subside is to press my clit.