An Interview.

Hey Cande! How are things?

Things are crazy right now. I'm working like a maniac and I haven't had time to do anything for myself really.

How's that apartment thing going?

Oh that... Well today I went to the agency and gave them a written offer for the place. I asked for 550 Euros completely furnished.

Why did you decide to ask for that?

Well my original plan was to ask for the place at 500 Euros with just a kitchen (yeah rental places here don't have ANY furnishings, including kitchens), but in the end if I have to furnish the place myself it would be more expensive. I'd rather have them do it and I don't have to worry about how to get the furniture to the apt.

And when will you know the answer? Do you think the owner will accept?

Hopefully by next week. I'm not sure if he'll accept, I'm just keeping my fingers crossed. If he doesn't accept I might make another offer, or I might just leave it. The floor plan isn't the greatest solution for my needs so we'll see.

How has the Bf been dealing with it all?

It's been kinda strange really. He's been really good. I have been having a hard time understanding how much to involve him in this process. I asked him if he wanted to come to the appointment with the agency today. I wasn't sure I wanted him there but then I started asking him questions about what was going to happen so he suggested he come along. I was somewhat relieved that he did.

Once there he wouldn't stop talking again, like he does when he's nervous. But at one point he went on a long monologue to the agent about how I'm so innocent and "good" and I don't give money any importance and that I don't have a bad bone in my body. He was trying to convince her not to take advantage of me. The whole talk made me cry. I was bawling inside but I managed to hide the tears and keep a straight face. I kept smiling and shaking my head at both the agent and at him to say it wasn't exactly true. It was rather rough though. I told him, when we left, that he'd made me want to cry I explained that he'd said some really nice things about me that weren't true (I can't take compliments) and he said it was the only way anyone could describe me.

So when do you move in?

If the owner accepts the offer I think August more or less.

Have you talked to Rob recently?

Rob, rob, rob... I spoke with him directly in a Skype conversation last week. It only lasted 20 minutes and I think we needed more than that. We seem to need a preliminary awkward chat and then we settle back into each other's comfort zone and we ease up. We're both so shy that it takes a bit before we get comfortable with each other's voices.

I have been quiet lately, I haven't been getting in touch with him much because we decided to leave that up to him.

I got in touch with him on Thursday evening though, when I got news of Storm Thorgerson's death. We'd been in a music art gallery together and could have bought his prints. We've sent a few emails back and forth but it's the weekend and I won't likely hear from him until next week.

Our meeting is constantly in the back of my mind. His voice, or rather memories of him telling me naughty things under his breath creep into my mind at unexpected times. English people on tv will remind me and I'll just go catatonic for a few moments until I can gather my wits again.

I don't remember the last time we got off together or vice versa he got me off or I him, so I miss that. I miss him in general but that can't be quenched so I can't really complain.

How are YOU feeling about all the change?

It's scary but at the same time I'm happy. I'm happier than I've been in a long time, though I'm not sure if that's just because it's spring, sunny and maybe because I don't have time to think, I'm working like a dog. Bf is getting out more now too, he's found some stuff that he enjoys doing in the evenings. So we're getting along very well. I think my peace of mind means a lot for the relationship. I feel like I'm taking a big step. Both in terms of my work, with my new business number finally coming together in a way that I can use it, and with the mental move from living with bf to him getting his place and me getting mine.

Another Apartment?

Thanks all for the well wishes. It's hard to lose a pet, but as many of you said, it's worth having them around. They're company is priceless.

I went to check out a new apartment the other day. I told bf I was going and since we've been doing a lot together in the past few days we decided to go together. It was a little strange, he did say that if I didn't want him to go he wouldn't get offended, but I said, hey why not, come along.

I half regretted it but at the same time it was useful to have him there. The owner was there and he seems like a genuinely nice person. Bf tends to talk too much when he's a little nervous so he rambled and rambled and rambled and I just wanted to do the talking myself. I even told bf before we left, let me talk. But he didn't.

Whatever, no harm was done I imagine. The place is interesting, it's the right size, but the set-up is terrible. It's on two floors, and I'd have to have the "living room/guest room" in the basement along with my work studio/laundry room. Upstairs I'd have the bedroom, kitchen and an entrance/large room where I'd teach and paint. It could work, but it would take a little organizing. I'd also be going up and down the stairs a lot with a living room downstairs and a bedroom upstairs.

The price is high though. They want a €100 more than the first place I'd found, so €660 but I'm going to see if I can get them down to €550.

The good thing is that it's closer to where I work and the centre of town. It's only a 5 minute walk from town instead of the 20-30 minute walk from the other apartment I'd found. PLUS it's on a super quiet street. I've got a large garden/patio almost all to myself. The owner lives upstairs but only part of the year since he travels a lot and has a second house in another part of the country. I'd say it's ideal....
Totally renovated, new tiles, two large bathrooms. One with a gorgeous shower with a built in seat.

We'll see how that goes.

Gone

My bird passed away last night.

Believe it or not I looked over at his perch and got a slight chill around the time he passed on.

There's an empty space where his perch was. Bf took it down right away. We buried him in the garden behind the house. When we got home from the vet's I sat down and cried, bf came to hug me and miracle of miracles, cried too.

It frustrates me to no end how he deals with his emotions, but I can't exactly be judgmental on that front. I'm not great with mine either.

Sad

Thanks everyone for the lovely comments about HNT. You know how I love HNT, even though I never have time to take pictures anymore.

Things are moving forward on the apartment front. I'm going to see another apartment tomorrow afternoon. Though the owner is asking a lot for the place. It's ideal though. Perfect almost, we'll see though what it's like and how they take an offer.

Bf and I went to look at tiling for his new apartment. It's all so weird and often anxiety or fear filled but the tension doesn't last long and we iron it out quickly. I fear interfering in his choices so I try to back off, give him some help in aesthetic choices but ultimately the decisions are his.

There has been a major problem at home though. We've had a parrot for 15 years. We bought him together and hand trained him. He wasn't actually supposed to stay with us, the parrot was initially a gift for bf's mom, but she refused to take him in so we got "stuck" with him.

A few days ago the bird got sick, he stopped eating and was just sleeping. Things progressed and got worse so we took him to the vet Friday. By Sunday he got taken in and is laying on his side in a hermetic chamber with 99.9% pure oxygen. He's asleep and well, he looks like death on a stick.
Poor thing, I cried all Sunday convinced he wasn't going to make it through the night but he did and was up and getting around this morning. Once they gave him another injection of antibiotics though he collapsed on the floor of the chamber. We're hoping he'll survive but we're not sure how it's going to go.

Fact is, it just seems like he's really feeling our separation. It sounds crazy, but the bf, our neighbour and I all thought of it.

Last night bf and I stayed close in bed, no sex though and just holding each other or my foot over his. We both had a restless sleep knowing the parrot was at the vet's. Today I feel better but I'm sad and worried of course. I miss him if he isn't here, he's just part of the household, part of our routine, part of our lives together. After 15 years I'd be pretty upset to lose him.

Sex and HNT! How exciting is that??

Ok so here's a sexy posting.

I had lots of crazy sex with the bf day before yesterday. I think part of our problem is that we don't have sex for ages and then when we do it's like, crazy insane sex that we can't get enough of. So we wear each other out a bit I guess. We need to take things a bit slower.

The sex was excellent, many different positions, many different styles and speeds. Just the way I like it. I got off twice. The highlight was me sitting on top of him, reverse cowboy, leaning back on one hand, and knees bent in front of me, his hands holding my ass up so he could fuck me from below, and I still had access to my clit.

HNT is up. it's on the Other HNT by Osbasso. Make sure to leave lots of praising comments below the pictures and visit the participant sites if they've been linked to.

The last bit of Sexyness is for all you men out there who aren't participating in a sabbatical from masturbation.... lol sorry, I had to pull your legs a little, Tom and Advizor.

This is a little video that I watched last week and really, really... really enjoyed. I think I got off three times that day, with a break in between mind you.

Thanks,stats and blog list.

I want to thank all my followers and blog friends. I have a lot of lurkers who I also love. I see you lurking and I love that you're there reading and keeping up. I'd be happy to hear from you, but I know that sometimes it's just easier not to write a comment, that's all good too, I am happy no matter what.

I need my followers, the ones who comment and the ones who don't. It forces me to be faithful to my decision of blogging. I wouldn't bother if I knew no-one was reading. At that point I'd keep a journal. I need the external stimuli to keep writing.

I have had a total of about 88,713 visits to this blog since I started in May 2009. I have an average of visits per day that fluctuates, but right now it's around 55. The nice thing is that the average visit length is actually 2.00 minutes long! That, to me, is impressive, it means that people are reading and paying attention.

I need to update my side blog list, which I hope to get to this week. But here's a list of my favourite blogs. I would suggest that any lurkers and public readers out there take a look to see what they're offering. 
I love women's blogs more than men's. If it's the right kind of blog, I'll read every post they write but I have only found a few (2) women's blogs that I really truly connect with. As for the men, I like looking into the male psyche, but I'm not an avid reader of male blogs. I have many I stop in at regularly, but I just don't have time to keep up with everything. I admit I follow more men than women, but it's the women's blogs I like more, it's just harder to find exactly what I like in a woman's blog.
I think too that I'll follow a blog more if I catch it from the start. If I have to dive in mid blogging, I have a harder time with it. 


Ladies first:

Rachel-xx @ Naughty Rachel - xx : She has a blog that is quite similar to mine in that it's the honest, open diary of a woman exploring her relationship possibilities. We could honestly be sisters, we are similar in many ways, we just have so much in common.

Johanna @ Disentangling Johanna : Johanna is a blogger whose blog is on a very similar topic to mine since she has a a very important online relationship like mine and Rob's. They haven't met yet but I do believe that someday they will. They are very very close and have recently realized just how close they are.

Sin @ Finding my Submission :  She is a sub in a Dom/sub BDSM relationship. Her blog is mostly an outlet for her thoughts, troubles and trials, as well as ideas on this type of relationship. 

Conina @ Surrender : I'll let her tell you what she's about. "The love of my life is also my husband and master. He's a very very accommodating man who is also not afraid to take what he wants from me . That makes me the luckiest girl alive. This is my story of submission, of surrender, and of joy - mostly told through sex."

Liza @ Always Each Other : Here's what her intro says: "Liza is one half of a happily married couple who have recently rediscovered one another. We can't be pinned down." 

Men:

Advizor @ Free Advice is Worth What you Pay for it : This is a good friend of mine, we met years ago through the blogs. He is hosting Flash Fiction Friday, so if you have a blog and want to participate go over there and find out what it's all about. He is a great writer of erotic fiction and you'll find general diary entries on his blog too. I guess I go for the diary type blog more than the journalist type blog.

DoG3oY @ The Guru's nipples of power : Now this guy has a sort of diary as well. Though he's not great in keeping it up recently, we need to encourage him to do so. He's always had a mix of stuff on the blog from work related banter to erotic thoughts and stories. 

N.Likes @ My Dissolute Life : He's got mostly erotic but the occasional real story diary type entry. He likes commenting on women he sees, a bit of a voyeur really. 

JFBreak @ Break Out : is a bisexual man and his trials and tribulations in his marriage to his wife. The threesomes they've done and his interactions with male colleagues at work. It's a great mix of erotic and diary. I've been following for some time but recently I've been paying more attention to this blog.

Malcom @ Malc's Blog : His is a collection of thoughts more than anything. An older man with a younger wife and his attractions to other women and his thoughts on eroticism and many other topics.

Tom @ Three spelling Mistakes : Tom has great writing abilities. He writes short erotic stories that just leave you wanting more. I haven't been keeping up with his blog as much as I'd like since I can't get it onto my reader list (not sure why) and I keep forgetting to add it as a bookmark, but I'll figure something out. He's on a no masturbation celibacy vow at the moment, let's see how it goes!

Osbasso @ Views from the Back Row : This is the famous HNT blog starting point. HNT doesn't exist anymore though on occasion there are returns... now that I think of it I'm pretty sure he's set up a monthly HNT event, though I've been so busy I haven't had time to check out when it is. His normal posting is mostly day to day stuff, but I love peeking into people's lives so it's just my style. 

Oh yes I've done it again.

Rob
I took a leap of courage and booked myself an art course in the UK for July. It cost very little to book the space on the course so I figured even if I had to back out it would be ok.

I told Rob shortly after I'd booked it, I told him the date and asked when would be ok to meet up. I had two weeks off work before the course so there was plenty of time. I knew he was busy in a couple of summer dates, but I didn't exactly know when, but I figured that with 2 weeks available I'd be able to wing something.

It turns out the dates weren't the best, we chatted online briefly one evening and I was worried the dates were completely wrong, I left it with him for the night and the next day or the day after we caught up on Skype for a phone conversation. We've worked it out, we're meeting up for the 7th and 8th of July.

He says it's a long way off. It's not really... It's almost Easter now. Soon enough it'll be April. Four months will go by quickly.

I've booked my flights now too. I'm flying into Paris and out of London. I'll be spending a few days in Paris and then taking the train to London. I've never been to Paris. I've always wanted to go, and I'll get to practice my french, see the louvre and all the gargoyles and gothic cathedrals I've always studied.

BF / Apartment
The bf may be worried that I'm going with someone else. I told him that I'm going for 2 weeks and he kept asking who I'm going with, I just kept interpreting his question as what airline I'm traveling with, and I kept answering the same answer.

He has bought the apartment he was looking at. He's put the down payment on it and will be choosing the floor tiles. Sometimes I think about it and it scares me. For the most part I'm ok, but I do panic at times, it's such a huge change for us. He's smoking again, I saw him smuggle a pack of cigarettes into his jacket. But we're getting along fine these days. He still gets on my nerves, but we're not at each other's throats.

I will hopefully have time to get to some real estate agencies this week and start the search again. I did get told about a place which would be ideal but it's a bit too far out of my way.

I have a lot of things on my plate, I've got lots of opportunities, I just need to figure out exactly what I want. Lot's of job options opening up for me, and I like them but I need to really concentrate and decide what I want for myself and what I think I can handle.

I am exhausted after a very intense week of work, I have only Sunday to rest up before another fairly intense week but it should be the last before getting things back on a normal spring track. March is always kinda crazy but luckily the weather is nicer, it was sunny and warm enough to sit outside on the patio and soak up some rays and produce some vitamin D.