This is a post is partially inspired by my dear Anon reader who commented on my last post.
I have an "elephant in the room" with bf. I also know that he has picked up on it subconsciously. I've been trying, for years, to figure out what to do about it. The apartment solution was the only way for me to figure out my "true" feelings for bf and I'm sticking to that version. Separating our lives into two separate places may bring us closer together or it may prove to us that it just wasn't meant to be. I don't feel comfortable leaving the relationship until I'm sure of my feelings for Bf.
Others have mentioned it to me before, that maybe my "separate apartment solution" is just a ruse to get out of the relationship. It's not an intentional one. There's part of me that wants to see how things go and part of me that just wants to end it. I've been in this same mental position for years, even before I met Rob. That's partially why I met Rob I think.
As for the fact that it leaves our relationship in a grey area, it's entirely true. It's been in a grey area for a long time though. Pretty much the whole time. It's nothing really new.
Perhaps the only way to clarity is a clean break though and I'll continue to consider that possibility.
I read a meme on Fb the other day that got me thinking. The quote was attributed to Johnny Depp and I don't know if he said it or not, I haven't done my research, but the quote was interesting:
Fact is. Rob asked me just this when we met up. My answer was very clear. I said that it was possible to love two people at once and I'm still fairly sure it's possible (though this meme made me think twice), but it's two different types of love. You can be "in love" with someone and just "love" another. I think the falling in love with someone is temporary, it could be a long temporary state but it's still temporary. What our friend Johnny is referring to is the falling in love state of things, you can't fall in love with two people at once.
I would like to hear other opinions though. So post away on your blogs or comment here. It's always been a curiosity of mine.
PS I love hearing from Anon readers. So, thanks for the sincere comment. It means the world to me.