As my departure gets closer I seem to get hornier. I'm not sure if it's just because I halved the fibro medication which was making me so utterly tired and so tired I wasn't able to get aroused, or if it's because I haven't had sex in... 2 and a half months... wow now that I actually keep track of this stuff it's kinda scary. Crap... gotta do something about that pronto.
In two days I've had 4 orgasms. Only one was egged on by Rob last night. We were both heading to bed, but in the end we ended up with video and whispers late at night in the semi-darkness. His voice filtering through my headphones. The words "Jesus... that body" just sent me over the edge along with all the promises of kisses, neck biting, spanking, sucking... god I could easily go again.
The lights were out, the light of the television illuminating me. His face was perfectly framed by the iphone screen. I positioned the phone on the foot stool in front of me and I pulled my t-shirt over my head, ran my hand down into my pants twisted my nipples with the other and he groaned. I barely show him anything anymore. He rarely asks to see anything. He enjoys it when I do though, I can tell by the groans. But I think that the comment mentioned above got me so worked up because it was so absolutely genuine. Even after so long it surprises me that he still appreciates me the way he always has and he's not afraid to express it. There is something absolutely delectable about hearing him whisper into my ears.
I could see the expressions on his face as my breathing got faster. Maybe he was getting himself off, I have my suspicions, I love it though, I love it when he tries to hide it somehow, or at least he doesn't want to be obvious about it. I get to watch the expression on his face as he tries to hold off, tries to distract himself. If I'm not mistaken he came with me.
My mind wanders just to him, to scenarios when we meet. Two whole nights together will seem like a lifetime I think. I'm sure our connection will grow, will get stronger, will bind us together. The idea of it getting stronger makes me feel strange. On one hand it's what I want, I crave the connection more than just about anything else, on the other hand it scares me knowing that things will never be final and I'll still have a hole a void that will never be filled.