Monday, June 9, 2014

venting

It's just an overall bad day. Time to vent.
Nothing overly bad... nothing drastic or serious. Just one of those days where at the end you're glad it's over... and in reality it feels like it's not going to be any better tomorrow (though it probably will).

I woke up and had a lesson on a Sunday morning. That's already starting the day on the wrong foot. I had moved it from Saturday to make room for a fairly nice boat trip with friends. It wasn't a bad lesson but my student is stressed about a conference in English and has to prepare a speech.

I skyped with my dad which was lovely. I hadn't talked to him in ages so that was a highlight. My dad and his wife are coming to see me and have been planning this trip for a couple years. We were supposed to meet up in Paris originally but things have changed a little and they are coming to stay with me as well as go to paris. Fact is that I've been asking the bf since they started planning this if he wanted to join us in Paris and he has never given me a definitive answer. He has never expressed any sentiment in regards to the trip. He has always said "dunno" or "it's too far off to decide" or any other excuse he can think up. He has never said anything to the effect of 'I'd like to but I can't afford it, can we work around my budget' or 'I'd love to but I need to see what happens with work'. It's always just been very cold answers.

Today I asked him again. He got all defensive and again refused to answer even when pressed. Turns out he's offended because we didn't consider him enough in our conversation. My mistake was that I told my dad I was going before consulting him. He's also offended because my dad didn't think to ask (this time round) what his plans were for those dates.

I was in tears by the end of it, from the frustration. It's impossible to get anywhere in conversation with him sometimes. He accused me of never consulting him on invitations, but always accepting regardless if he can come or not... It depends on the situation but often it's true. I don't see the harm in it. I generally tell the person "I can likely come but let me see if bf can" and then I check with the bf. Am I doing it all wrong?

To top the whole evening off my outer window shutters got stuck and kinda broke so I'll be waking up at dawn because there's no way to shut the light out now.

2 comments:

Kenny said...

I he having money troubles?

I can understand if that is the issue. I don't care where you live. a man wants to feel wealthy...

If that is not the case then I do not know..maybe he is just a dick right now...it may change at some point.....

Cande said...

He's always worried about money. And he isn't exactly working his ass off. He's staying less than comfortable to avoid working more.
He works three evenings a week. That's all the stable work he has. And yes, it is a choice, he could easily find work... very easily. And I am not exaggerating.
It's his choice and part of the reason why I moved out.
So it obviously makes me angry when he makes it an issue for something this important. I haven't seen my father in 3 years, and before that it was 7 years. I don't get to see him often so I don't see this being a plausible excuse.