Wednesday, November 3, 2010

London

So here I am. I have been busy, but I'm fine... yes I'm fine. I got over all of this fairly quickly.

The day I left home to go to the airport I texted Rob asking if he was still talking to me. He said "yeah, I just needed some time to look at myself".

I was relieved to say the least.

I sent him another text message tonight to give him the brit mobile number that I purchased, and to tell him I was on skype. He won't come. It is also relatively late, it's 1am. I'll be surprised if I get an answer from him at all.

I think though that I have mourned enough for this "friendship". I'll let it be, let it go where it will. I just don't want to get hurt again. I need to set rules if it is destined to continue. Setting rules like: don't ask me when we're going to fuck. Don't tell me that you want to fuck me in real life. It's not going to happen.

I'm perfectly happy with the relationship online as is at this point. I am still convinced that I don't want to give him up. But if that's what has to happen, I'll deal with it when it comes. I don't think I'll be doing the mourning I did this last time. I have come to terms with the whole situation I'd say.

Thanks for the words of support... and the kind emails from those few who helped lend an open ear and heart.

3 comments:

Lisa Subrosa said...

Big Hugs!!! It's so hard. Hard to set boundaries, hard to let go... You deserve to be deeply loved and respected. You are a beautiful person. XOXOXO

Advizor54 said...

it sounds like your trip is paying off already. New location, new thoughts, a new beginning and seeing him more clearly.

We love and cherish some people who can not, or will not, give us what we need.

:-)

And I'll second the motion for a hug, but do I have to let go?

Green Eyed Frenchy said...

I'm happy to see you're already feeling better. Good decisions, and I second Advizor when he says we love and cheish some people who cannot give us what we need. It's a shame really!

Hugs too!