Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Artistic urges and other types of urges

So an HNT is going up tomorrow (my thursday). I always get excited about HNT when I manage to find the time to get the pictures done.

I had the day free today, Bf was out all day. I woke up happy to be awake, which has been happening rather rarely these days. I've been having to get up too early and it's too cold and damp here to get out of bed. But today I woke up eagerly. I had dreamt about a large art project that I'm eager to start work on.

These artistic impulses are a funny thing though. If I don't act on them right away they wear off, the novelty wears off and I get tired of them. I really have a hard time getting back into a project I've started and left aside. And often I don't have the time or space to really concentrate on something till I finish it.

In any case I sat down and sketched it out. It is probably the third or fourth large size project that I have come up with in the past year. I haven't actually started work on any of them. But the ideas are all on paper so I won't forget them.

While I was working on that today I fondly thought about my mother who was an artist before she passed away prematurely from lung cancer (she never smoked a cigarette in her life).
I remembered how she used to mix her media together to create unique pieces of art. She had so many skills she didn't know how to put them all to use. I find that I have the same qualities as an artist. (without wanting to boast), I know a hundred different art techniques, and I love having had her influence to mix them together as most people wouldn't.
I wish she were alive so that I could tell her that.

I have decided to really lay off Co-worker. I think it's for the best. I'm not sure whether he wants to flirt or not but I honestly don't really care anymore. He's so touch and go that I can't be bothered.... ok maybe I'm not that adamant on backing off, but I am trying to make a conscious effort.

I went to lunch with him and my other female co-worker and I asked them what they were up to this friday eve, there's a concert I want to go see. I know for sure that Co-worker likes the type of music the band plays. The girl co-worker said that she wasn't interested and he made some offhand comment about not liking them, but then he smiled and winked at me.

So who knows...

I give up.

I am going to the concert though, probably alone. We'll see how things roll that evening.

Rob and I were both home and horny yesterday afternoon (after I got the HNT pics done), except he had internet problems and he kept getting kicked off of Skype. It sucked the bucket... but I have to say It may well have been for the best because Bf got home very shortly after we tried talking.

Bf surprised me the other day. I told him about the concert that I'd like to go see on Friday. He said, "let me know what you want to do, I'll come with you if you want me to, you can go on your own or with whoever you want to go with".
Before all of this happened he'd have reacted differently. He would have complained about me wanting to go. He'd have said that he didn't want to come and if I said I wanted to go on my own he'd have gotten huffy/angry even.

An Ex.
I have this weird urge to get in touch with my Ex.... I dated this guy before moving here, I was totally in love with him, we were engaged even, but then he cheated on me and I got angry and dumped him. He now lives in Norway, has a son and a wife, but he is having problems with his wife. I've heard he wants a divorce. What I've heard is all through a friend, so I don't actually know what's up. But he is an artist and I am curious about what he's doing and how he's doing it artistically. The urge has been strong, but I don't know if it would be a good idea.


Michael said...

That's good that you are making progress on your "own" life. And I've always thought, based on how you've described your experiences, that CoW was a flake. You are adopting the proper attitude to him, I think. Norway is nice in the summer. And I'm looking forward to HNT


V said...

It's never a good idea to move backwards. I vote for not getting in touch with the ex, especially one who has cheated on you. Don't waste your time at a point in your life where you're moving forward :-)

james said...

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