I am in love with him.
I have no doubts.
Does that change anything?
No... and Yes... It just means that I'll be aware of what feelings I have and I'll be better able to cope with them.
Between our conversation yesterday, and another brief conversation today things have been amazing. The look on his face, was a sweet one. We were supposed to play but there was no time. As we were talking I could hear a guitar, he seemed to be bumping it with his fingers. I knew he played. I knew he sang a little too. He kept making noise with it, and when I asked him what it was, he kept saying it was the radio.
I got the feeling he wanted to play for me but either didn't have the time or perhaps the courage.
We had our conversation, but at the end my student arrived and as we were closing I asked him to send me a video of him playing. I was kidding but hoping he'd agree. And he said that he'd send me an audio file.
After my lesson I was busy organizing a DVD for a friend and I get a text message with two question marks "??" from him. Not understanding I texted him thinking that maybe he'd received one of my earlier messages late. So then I check my email and sure enough there was the file.
"Heart Shaped Box" by nirvana was in there, sung and played by him on the guitar. It was slow, sweet and only part of the song. He isn't a professional musician or singer, It's obvious, but he is in tune and does a pretty good job of it. It made me laugh simply because I know the song so well sung by Curt Cobain that it's strange to hear it sung with a british accent, and no-one has ever sung anything specifically for me before. It made me blush funnily.
I honestly loved it. The thought was all too sweet coming from him.
My head is in the clouds now... I keep grinning and can't stop.