Everyone grows up and everyone falls in love with someone at a certain age. They love that person of course, but then people change. Both parties change, that doesn't mean that you don't love that person or can't be passionate with that person, it's just that they fill different needs. And our own needs change too.
So we go looking for things elsewhere....
That's when we click sexually with another person. You've gone looking, you've cheated, and "love" hits you on the head without you expecting it because the passion is so intense, because passion doesn't exist without the love and emotion. If you take sex, and take the passion out of it you have pure sex which isn't half as interesting as when there's a connection.
What exactly is passion though?
-any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
-strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.
-strong sexual desire; lust.
-an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.
-a person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire.
To be honest, I don't quite agree, although I understand why it has been worded this way. Passion is passion, Lust is lust. I wouldn't mix the two up. Lust in my opinion is a non amorous feeling of strong sexual desire towards someone similar to a drug addict's need for drugs, whereas passion is an amorous one.
How does this apply to me and what's going on?
Well I've recently talked to someone who said some things that have clarified what happened in Nottingham with Rob. I knew there were emotions involved, but I don't know how aware I was about what emotions were involved. And I think part of me was trying to avoid getting hurt and pushing those emotions aside to an extent. I didn't want to confront them
I have realized that there was lust and there still is. But passion definitely took over there. And I think too that love has a strong role in this. I was afraid to admit it. And by not admitting it, I risk being in an emotionally confused state over how I feel.
I talked to Rob about it this evening, it was a very very interesting conversation for me. I explained it to him, the understanding that I've come to. I asked him about his feelings on the situation and the first and most important thing that he said was that he isn't as emotionally involved as I am.
This did not scare me, it didn't even phase me really, although it was hard to know what to say in response. I did point out that it was important for me to understand that. He continued by specifying that what he meant was that he has "...more control over his emotions, and that doesn't mean that he feels less strongly...".
It is/was important for me to understand his position on things. I think I now have a better understanding of my feelings and a better understanding of his feelings.
I feel clearer and more at peace with things. I was in a constant state of turmoil (sometimes on the surface other times deeper down) about my feelings around him.