Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Trip Trip Trip

I'm exhausted. I've been taking the fibro meds now for over two weeks and I feel worse than when I started. Maybe it's just one of those days. But today my mood is terrible and I just feel like I'm going to fall over if the wind blows me in the wrong direction.

I went to a public office to ask about funding for my (hypothetical) business and the whole thing got me in this mood. Or maybe it was Bf's participation that got me here. The meeting wasn't actually all that bad except that it confused me and I probably realized that the whole thing is much more complicated than I thought it was.
Whatever.... the funding exists but I have to go back in May, that's when they know how much money is available and for how many businesses.

Rob and a new Trip to LONDON
I'm booking my trip to London this week. I've been having a hard time with that too. Every time I try to book it, something comes up around the dates and I have to move the trip around. Whether it's BF complaining, my job, Rob going away or my friend in London going away or whatever... It's no-one's fault directly, it's just complicated.

So I've pretty much decided on the 17th of April. That's less than a month away. Rob and I will meet up for our 3rd time and possibly for a whole 2 days and nights this time. I smile every time I think about it. The fact that he was the one to suggest two days makes me swoon... ok maybe not swoon, but it makes me really happy. I'm really looking forward to it.

He said that we'll probably meet on the 22nd of April.

I have some mixed feelings about this trip. I'm not sure why. I haven't really dug down deep enough to understand why yet and I'm not sure I really want to. But the surface feeling that I keep pushing away is that perhaps (quite possibly) I'm getting into deeper waters, deeper than either of us might be able to handle. I don't want to think about it. I think, though, that the last meeting was also riddled with similar emotions, but the unknown was strongest. This time I know EXACTLY what I'm getting into so the mystery of "what's to come" isn't veiling all the other emotions.

Co-W is one of the reasons my trip might have been moved. I talked to him today on the phone and it wasn't an easy conversation.
Let me start by saying that I wasn't calling him. I called the girl that I work with to ask her whether she would be around for those weeks. She was with Co-W and when she asked me where I was headed he piped up with "can I come?"... I shrugged off the comment without answering really. When I finally got him on the phone it turns out that he is heading off to do a job during the same period that I'll be away. That would leave the studio with 9 students to deal with possibly without me or him around. This could cause some difficulties.
In the end I got a bit frustrated with him because he couldn't pinpoint whether he would have to be away during that time or not and he ended up telling me to book it anyhow and he'll deal with things when they come round.
Truth be told I've been talking about this trip for over 6 months, and I have been saying it will be in Spring... so he acknowledged that and told me to do what I thought was best.


Michael said...

I hope the fibro does not get in the way of your enjoying the excitement build-up that is to come!


Ethan Lambert said...

Yeah, it's totally CoW's responsibility to make sure the trip dates are covered, especially since he neither pre-planned, nor is he in a position to schedule dates yet. It was nice of him to acknowledge it though.

Can't wait to hear about your further adventures with Rob - since there's nothing you can do about it currently, best to just push the Business Thing to the back of your mind and focus on how much fun you're going to be having in just a few weeks!

Sorry to hear about the Fibro meds side effects. If they persist, will your doctor be able to suggest an alternative prescription, or is this the only treatment currently on the market?