My Own Private Mind Fuck.

In a hotel room, first day, first few minutes in the room. My side of the conversation:

"I'm not undressing you this time. I'm not going down on your first. You're gonna have to work for it this time."

*leaning over the desk, in front of the mirror* "Spank me.... Harder. Go on."

*laughing* "is that all you've got?"
*gasping* "you can do better than that."
*panting* "fuck that's good. More please, don't stop... both sides... make me red."

*dripping* "Go down boy, now... slow.... slower" *pushing and pulling away, teasing, creating diversions, kissing, moving, turning, standing, sitting*

"Do you want me?"
"Do you want to fuck me?"
"Am I your little slut?
"Are you going to fuck me like your personal slut?"
"I've been waiting for this for months."
"Fuck me"
"Fuck me"
"Please, please, fuck me"
"Fuck me like the little slut I am"
"I want to feel you deep inside me"
"Use me"
"Hurt me"
"Make me cum"

*whispered in your ear as I cum, almost a whiney beg.* "Make me suck your cock now. I want to taste myself on you"
"I want to lick you clean"
"Make me gag on your cock please."

*coming up for air* "I can't get enough of your cock. I adore your cock." *Diving down for more*
*coming up for air again* "Watch me make you cum. I want you to cum on my face, my tits, my tummy"
*just as you're filling my mouth again* "Cum for me."
*hand on my clit, hand on my nipple, staring up at you from the floor* "Cum on me. You're going to cum on me 'cause I'm your little slut right?"

*licking my fingers clean* "Thank you. That was yummy."

___________________________________

When I have a shower I often meditate. It's my space. A space where I can't hear anything, see anything or really emotionally feel anything. I just have the sensation of warm water running over my body, over my hair, my ears and I think. My mind wanders and I allow myself to get completely lost in thought.

Yesterday I had a shower and my mind went on it's usual rampage, from one topic to the next. Mostly it lingered on a conversation I'd love to have during sex with Rob. I dream of being as good with spoken words as I am writing them. My voice cracks with the slightest hint of emotion, whether that be embarrassment, sadness, anger, heat... whatever, it cracks and I hate it. It somehow externalizes emotions I'd rather hide. I want to overcome those emotions by letting the words out, but they crack under the weight of that emotion and I fear saying them for how they will sound. Weak.  I could whisper at first. That would keep things more solid I think, at least to start... then I think it would ease up.