Friday, September 28, 2012

Scared, Worried and Exhausted.

This week was absolutely INSANE... know what I mean? It's the "running around like a chicken with your head cut off" type of work week. I worked 8 or 9 hours every day. I had a concert in another town on Tuesday and didn't get home until 1:00am and a dinner on Wednesday after work. I had an online meeting with my sister last night and private lessons after work on two evenings as well. To boot, I have to work Saturday morning this week.

I really haven't even looked at my computer except to talk to my sister last night while I tried to relax on the couch and watch inception (again).
I need to catch up on a million things including emails and reading blogs. I will do that this weekend.

Last Sunday was a massively huge blow to me. I spent the day in tears and I haven't had much time to think about what I was told until yesterday when I was supposed to talk to my (half) sister about it.

My father lives in a far away country, about a 24 hour flight from where I am now. We talk almost weekly on Skype, but I hadn't heard from him since before my holidays in Croatia. He'd had some minor health issues when he'd come to visit me this winter here and I was pretty sure he was busy with getting tests done and such to figure things out.

On Sunday he told me he has prostate cancer.

I told bf of course and I sent Rob an email. I decided not to post here until now. One because I just haven't had the time, and two because I felt like I needed to let the information settle a little.

I lost my mother to cancer 6/7 years ago, I lost my aunt (my father's sister) to cancer 5/6 years ago,  and I am deathly afraid of losing my father. I have always been very close to him, much closer than I ever was to my mother.

Needless to say I'm scared shitless, but at the same time, in this case I'm confident that things will go for the best.

It's funny how things work though isn't it? How I just posted that entry on my mother's death and all...

I think I'll leave this here. But next week should be a little less hectic.


Johanna said...

I'm so, so sorry to hear about your father Cande... There are so many men with prostate cancer who are either cured or live with it for many, many years; I'm hoping for a good prognosis for him! You're in my thoughts.

Malcolm said...

Sorry about your father.My father had prostate cancer but he was already eighty-four so it was about time for him to go. I believe it is not so serious nowadays, if steps are taken.

Advizor54 said...

I've been off my e-mail as well and I was shocked to read this. I'm sorry your family has to deal with this, but they are making great strides in dealing with this kind of cancer. When I turned 45 my doc said that the chance of a man getting prostrate cancer was 100% if he just lived long enough, but that very few men died of it directly. In his words, "being old usually takes you out first."

While this doesn't sound comforting, in most cases it's a slow growing cancer that has little impact on most men at that age.

Learn as much as you can, support him, but don't panic yet, there are many reasons to be hopeful.

Your week sounds hectic but work is good and busy keeps you moving and not thinking about other problems.

I hope next week holds a calmer schedule and better news.

rachel-xx said...

You are even more so now in my thoughts and prayers.

Lola said...

Best wishes.

Osbasso said...

Well, I don't visit for a bit, and find this (as well as the pictures up above...). Lots of prayers headed your way. Cancer's a bitch, and you've had enough of that in your life to deal with. Hopefully things have been caught in time and he'll have a full recovery and many more years ahead of him.