Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Friendly Confrontation

The search for my own place has not stopped. I am still looking, it's just slow going. I've left my name, number and the details of the kind of place I want at various different agencies but nothing so far has turned up.

I don't have a ton to say in terms of anything much going on with me. Work is busy and will proceed to get busier.

I have talked to Rob a couple times recently. I guess it was the first two times since my holidays in Croatia. He mentioned he might be on during the weekend but he ended up being busy. He was super sweet and sent me an email on Monday apologizing for not being around and letting me know when he was free this week.
Just as a joke, I wanted to say "marry me" in an email as thanks, and to show my appreciation. I didn't it was a little much. I'm not sure why I liked that particular email so much, but I did. To be honest there was nothing that special about it except, I suppose, his thoughtfulness.

He admitted to having stopped by the blog a few times "just to see what's going on in my head" as he puts it. It's nice to know he's curious about my head, I wish I had some sort of insight into his too.

I have difficulty understanding feelings and the way they work though. People do nice things for me all the time, especially bf. He's constantly doing nice things. Other guy friends too. What is it with our brains that don't really SEE that kindness, they don't appreciate it. When a person we are in love with or have a crush on does something minor it brightens up our day, gives us a warm happy feeling... Why is that?? Why can't we appreciate all kind acts in the same way?

He confronted me nicely during our talk, half-jokingly about why I'm getting my own place. He was sure I just don't have the guts to break up with him. I defended myself immediately, asking him to hear me out. Later, when thinking about what he'd said I decided that I partially agree with him. But I know for sure that it's not the reason why I've decided to move out. I really do need to get some distance between myself and this relationship to understand what it is I want. Maybe I do want to break up with him deep down. But I can't know that without the distance and space.
I managed to convince him of my reasons. But it was nice to have him confront me, get me thinking and even hear myself explain it logically. I even reassured myself.

On a completely different note I want to introduce you to a singer that I've discovered and quite enjoy. She's got a sweet sweet voice and I find her extremely sexy. I'm going to post an original song of hers that I'm addicted to at the moment. I love the fact that it's a mythological story but the song is extremely catchy. This is not her sexiest video by far, but I enjoy the song so much that I figured it was the best choice.


Ebony Panther said...

Very cool song. I'm going to have to check out the rest of her stuff.

Advizor54 said...

there is good reasons that professors make doctoral candidates defend their research in-person. When we have to explain our thinking, our logic, our reasons to another, out loud, we strip away all the inner assumptions that we already agree with. We are forced to defend the actions and the assumptions behind them in one coherant space. Rob's challenge to you will help as you see things from an outsider's perspective. If you can convince him of your reasoning then it strengthens your own resolve.

Plus, he wants you to have a place of your own when he finally gets the guts to visit. :-)

Cande said...

Ebony, yeah she's got a great voice. Worth listening to.

Advizor: Hm yeah that is a very good point.

OsShirt said...

Oh, man, I've been a huge fan of Pomplamoose for years! I love that she's working on solo material too. I LOVE "Break Your Kneecaps"!