It's creeping back in. That darkness between the bubbles... Remember? Like the painting. Speaking of which I should post another picture of, I did some more work in it a while back.
No matter what, I'll still go through these phases of darkness. Even when I have my own place. I'm writing this to remind myself... I'm capable of trying to convince myself that it'll be all sun and fun when I get an apartment.
When winter rolls round and the weather turns, i turn too. Work helps. Keeping busy helps.
Today reminds me of the day in that cafe in Camden town. It was pouring and I was sipping lemon ginger tea with honey while writing in my journal. I wrote him a letter that I never sent. It got used though, portions of it were stitched together to write the email I finally sent him. It was my realization that I loved him. For the first time I decided that it was ok to admit it to myself, and therefore also to him.
Today, a dreary rainy day, I sit and sip the same ginger lemon tea with honey and it brings back memories.
The tea is somewhat symbolic of this relationship if you think about it. Ginger being spicy, lemon being fragrant and sour, honey is of course smooth, thick and sweet.
Spice = sex
Lemon = distance
Honey = love
It's the perfect concoction for those cool rainy days.