When I get to spend time with him on Skype the emotions well up inside me to the point of almost overflowing. They leak into the days that follow. Snippets of conversation or memories of looks that creep into my thoughts randomly. Thoughts of seeing him again in person make my stomach jump into my throat.
Last night we spent a while together getting off. It was a slow build up, I was in my pjs it was late and bf was sleeping. It's so hot I don't wear much to bed, just a pair of skimpy cotton shorts and a tank top.
The things he usually says make me wet, they make me cum, but last night he said a series of things that just made me blush. He was absolutely sweet and wonderful, paying me all sorts of compliments. It's not usual for him. I guess it makes me appreciate it even more when it's uncommon. I'm better at taking compliments than I used to be, I said thank you and that it was very sweet, and I also told him that it was making me blush. I blush fairly easily, but compliments are probably the fastest way to make me blush. Oh and yes, he did make me cum too... those words came later.
I have to restrain from sending all sorts of mushy emails the day after a meeting like this. There's a definite pattern to the recent months. It generally consists of one or two skype events. The first, if there is one, is a chat just to see how things are. Then there is the event where we get off, it could be one, the other, or both of us. Then there's silence, almost total silence until early the next week, somewhere between Monday afternoon and Tuesday. That's when the emails or texts start.
I think he needs to get away from me after the meeting though. That's why there's the silence after.
I don't mind, I just crave him constantly. The craving is constantly strong too. There are times when I am busy and can manage to keep him off my mind, but when I'm not busy he's in the forefront. After a meeting the craving is a bit stronger than usual. It's not a craving for him to get me off either, it's an emotional craving, it's a craving of some kind of confirmation I think. Maybe a confirmation of what he feels for me.... I know what he feels, he's told me.... but I guess I feel a necessity for my own feelings to be mirrored by his. Sometimes I send him an email in that period, but I rarely get the response I expect or want.
I wonder if the silence for him, apart from the weekend when he is always quiet, is possibly a way to balance things. It would be understandable. It's like after we met up, he needed to "come down from a high" (his words). Like I said, I don't mind. I just like to get my head around things.
He jokingly, lovingly, calls me messed up in the head. I am. I over-think things... it's just the way I am. I know that it can sometimes screw things up and I try to avoid that kind of over-thinking. Somehow this type of over-thinking helps me understand things.... That's ok right? heh