Friday, September 17, 2010

Convincing myself

He knows exactly which buttons to press to turn me on
He knows how to mind fuck me. The mind fucking isn't always sexual, it can be games, or words.
We don't need to see each other or get naked to get turned on.
We don't use audio so it's not the voice that does it.
It's the words.
It's like a safe, you have to put in the right combination. With voice and video it's easier (in my opinion) to turn someone on. But it's not as easy with single words. Sentences aren't necessary. He can do it through a text message on my phone or through msn or through Skype.

Should I talk about love?
Well the deal is this. I've been asked by him and a few others if I'm in love with him. My answer is a constant NO for one main reason. I don't know him. Despite 9 years (or more) of chatting on internet, seeing each other on video and even meeting once in real life. There is no way that I could possibly know who he is without interacting with him in a social environment more than once. Internet is like a desert island, it's just the two of us. No outside factors to deal with no interactions with others. How could I possibly be in love with someone without truly understanding who he is.

What is it then?
I've done some research and I've finally decided upon infatuation. Now I used this word with him once and I may have repeated it here, but I was never really sure if it was the correct term and now I've been convinced by This article.

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