Saturday, February 26, 2011


I have been busy. Really busy this week. I've taken on two new jobs and was almost dragged into a third poor paying job by some school in the north that was desperate for a teacher here where I live.

So yeah, I'm not dead... My hair looks pretty good I think. It's getting pretty long too. I can put it up in a high pony-tail and it still touches the nape of my neck which is a sensation I love. Hair grazing the back of my neck while I walk or talk. I'll possibly try to get some kind of picture done this weekend when bf goes to work.

I did see Co-worker this past week at work, but there was no physical contact really. He did do his usual thing of getting up close to me to look over my shoulder while I was on the computer, but he didn't try to kiss my shoulder. I looked straight at him and had a MASSIVE urge to just kiss him, but my other co-worker girl was there and it would have been a very very bad idea.
He's on Gmail chat.... even as I write this and every time I see him there I wait for him to contact me. And I get stupid urges to write him things like "do you realise that you're playing with my head" or "you are capable of driving me crazy" or simply "what are you doing?"
But then I stop myself and think that he probably doesn't even realise what he does. He probably is just playful and affectionate all the time with everyone and I'm just taking it too far. I get to thinking that if I did say something it would put us both in a difficult position, and I know am right... so I stop myself. But I really wish I could clarify things sometimes or that he would clarify by doing something CLEAR for once.

As for Rob I've been working so much that I haven't been able to get on line much at all. He has texted me a few times saying that he was on line. He even wrote me an email asking me to send him a slutty email.
I sent him a story, it was short but could have gone on. I thought it was pretty hot... meaning that I got myself off on it, but I didn't really hear back from him on that. Perhaps I'll post it here at some point.

Bf and I have been getting along pretty well, not too many arguments, but there has been the odd sharp comment here and there. There hasn't been a lot of sex, actually there has only been two episodes in the past.... uhhh god knows how long. I sometimes get to wondering if he doesn't just think that sex is overrated with me or he just plain takes it for granted. He doesn't really work for it.... He doesn't seduce he doesn't TRY.


Green Eyed Frenchy said...

I think he pretty much takes you for granted, you should find a way to make him feel you're not. Maybe tell him that some guy was trying to flirt with you at work, or in a café, and that you liked it, whatever, and see his reaction.

ebony panther said...

I'm with the very sexy Frenchy. I think BF's taken you for granted for some time now. As for co-worker, it's nice to have the what-if factor play out sometimes. Hopefully, the jobs you are doing are giving you some satisfaction.

Johanna said...

Glad to see you're back! I've been married so long that I'm pretty much past trying to change the way my husband looks at me, or the way he acts. I do think I tried for a while, then I just sort of decided that his ways were completely acceptable to me, but I identified certain parts and pieces that were missing and that I didn't want to live without. Not only sex, mind you :) (but that too). I decided to look elsewhere for those, on my own, and things are working out pretty well now, both my life with him and the parts and pieces I take care of without him. I do think you have to think it over at some point and make sure your life is moving in the direction you want it to move. Congratulations on your new jobs, sounds great!

Advizor54 said...

Coworker probably knows exactly what he's doing, but that doesn't mean that he wants it to go any further. Sometimes getting in the hunt, even if it's just for fun, is thrilling enough. Maybe he likes things just the way they are, fun, flirty, a little dangerous, but without any real danger. If that is where he's at, it means that he trusts you, that he likes you, and that teasing you feels safe. Pushing it more might make him back off completely. So I'd say just let it ride.

As for BF, you've been together for a long time and it's easy to get into ruts that you don't even see. While I'm not a big fan of the "flirt with others to make him jealous" train of thought, I do think that letting him see that you are taking care of your needs and your development demonstrate that you aren't waiting for him to make you happy. He needs to realize how wonderful you are, so all you can do is stay strong and beautiful, just like you are.

And as for work? Power through, get the paycheck, and meet all the cute dads you can for tutoring gigs. :-)