Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Apartment news

I emailed the agent about the apartment today. I had some questions regarding doors on the rooms and some other minor things. I also asked her if she thought the owner would come down with the price a bit and she basically said that there was no room for negotiation. I may have the opportunity to ask again though so I might do that when I see her next.

The apartment doesn't free up until April or May and they want a downpayment if I'm interested. I asked her what percentage I'd lose if something happened between now and April and she said 100%.
A lot can happen between now and April, it's 4 months away.

I don't know what could possibly happen between now and April that might deter me wanting to get my own place. I am afraid of something coming up around the bf of course, like him asking me to marry him or realizing how much I mean to him and deciding that he suddenly wants to get down and start a family, but even then, would those be reason enough to compromise my own sanity/happiness? I don't think it will happen and I don't think it would deter me from wanting my own place. I also don't think it would be fair of him to drop that kind of thing when I make the decision to move out, not to mention dumb of me to accept.

I think more than anything the down payment scares me because it is forcing me into a decision right away; and while I see all these reasons why it could be a problem, I also realize that it's just me feeling scared and not so much the downpayment that's the problem. The down payment is just what I need to force me into the decision.

I'll be seeing the apartment again on Monday, and I think at that point I'll ask her how much time I have to think about it.


Johanna said...

If you need to explore living alone then you should do it, no matter what bf says or offers or does. If he respects you and still wants you in his life he'll accept that you need to take this step, and, provided it's what you both want down the road, things will still work out. If he doesn't accept it, I doubt there's a future for the two of you together.

Your moving out does not exclude the possibility of getting married, or having kids, with bf, should you decide that's what you want. I have seen many examples of couples who have shocked their friends and families by doing things in an unorthodox way... but somehow people tend to forget they were shocked once they realize that the couple is doing just fine.

I think you need to do this, or you'll just face another year (or two or three or twenty) wondering if you shouldn't get a flat of your own.

Advizor54 said...

I made my opinion pretty clear the last time you posted about this. I think you'd be crazy to pass it up. And Johanna's right. Moving out doesn't rule out anything. Maybe the time apart allows you to date each other again, to renew the courtship so you can come in to whatever is next with renewed confidence, or, it will let you hit on the guy in the window once and for all.

Do it. Do it. Do it.

:-) IMHO

Malcolm said...

I'm probably being naive or just haven't understood your relationship with bf, but how about discussing it with bf?

Tom said...

You absolutely need your own place, but it sounds like this landlord is playing hardball with you (won't come down on price... needs a down payment four months in advance... and won't return any of it!). I would try to stall with her a little bit and keep looking. I know this is the first place you've liked, but you never know. Maybe you will find a better place, or maybe at least a good enough place that you will feel more confident when trying to re-negotiate with the landlord. You should never be thinking "it's this apartment or nothing" -- how can you negotiate from that position?

rachel-xx said...

Sorry for the delayed response. I have been thinking about this for days. And I'm not trying to sound self-centered, but I've been thinking about me too. It occurred to me when I read your post that I have never actually lived on my own. Never had a place that was just mine. And the confusing part is that I really don't know how I feel about that. I think you are a special woman.

Advizor54 said...

If I can chime in here, purely from the male perspective, I think Rachel and Cande should move in together, if only for the blogging stories that could come out of it.....



Cande said...

Rachel, I think that a very important piece of advice my mother always insisted on was that before getting involved and living with someone, you need to know how to live on your own first. I never did that and I do regret it. It will definitely be a learning experience.
Thanks xoxoxo

Advizor: I have no doubts that living with Rachel would be a lot of fun, and we'd probably get into a lot of trouble....

Rache, want to move over here? lol