Better

I'm feeling a little better today. Yesterday I spent most of the day trying desperately not to cry and being mostly unsuccessful. I even got hugs from people at work as I burst in to tears there, it was a stressful day. Not only that but things with the bf were getting to me and things were piling up.

The bf was better about the whole situation yesterday and today. He came with me to the hospital briefly today. I didn't stay long either mind you. She seemed to be in good spirits but that's likely a show. She's not really ok. We know that.

At work the CoW walked up to me, real close, looked me straight in the eye about 4 inches away and said that I was 'super beautiful today' and continued to say 'but yesterday...' and didn't finish his sentence. He was brushing up, touching my hand and jokingly inviting me into one of the back rooms at work today too. it was a nice distraction. It's funny how he finds me super attractive at my lowest point. Maybe he's attracted to my vulnerability.

I invited CoW out for drinks today since we have a student of ours from our trip to Corfu who is in town. He said he might come if I promised not to seduce him. When I told him that I promised, he said he didn't trust me. He was working so the texts stopped and eventually got back to me saying that the appointment was too late and that he couldn't make it, he had to get home to his family.

I got a care package from home today too. That definitely cheered me up. It had all sorts of things that I love from people I love. It was heartwarming. It's times like these that I really miss my friends back home and wish I could just meet up for coffee or spend a weekend on a tiny island curled up on a couch with my best friend.

As regards to the bf there's all sorts of stuff I need to work through and that we both need to work through together. He said some things the other day that later, thinking back, made me really angry. I've put them aside for now but we really need to talk. Things are so busy though that we've barely been able to meet up. Yesterday I had the whole afternoon free but I was too angry and too upset to be able to deal with anything. It will be the project for this weekend.