Would I stay with the bf if I found out he's cheated on me? Would I forgive him? Would I turn things around myself and make another serious go of our relationship?
We had a discussion the other day. It was about sex and the lack thereof. He blames me. Maybe it's true. It doesn't feel true but maybe it is.
We've had this discussion before, and the ugly part is he brings up sleeping with other women each time. Both prostitutes and simply other women. I don't think it's fair. He asks me what I'd do if he were sleeping with someone. Or he says that all sorts of men can't go a week without sex and would resort to a prostitute.
It feels like threats. Or maybe he's testing the water to see what would happen if he admitted it.
I feel, right now, that I don't trust him. I feel like he's sleeping with others and maybe it's been the case for a long time. Possibly longer than my thing with Rob.
It's a gut feeling tightly connected to the fact that he mentioned it. And to the fact that he's been shaving his cock and pits for 2 years. If we aren't having sex, or only rarely, why shave? And why even start now?
This fear of him having been with others scares me out of having sex with him too. The thought of not knowing where his cock has been scares me.
Maybe I'm projecting though. Entirely possible.
I also feel somewhat justified for not engaging in sex with him... A woman's logic is a spectacular thing....I feel like since he refused to even consider a family with me that sex and our relationship can be on my back burner. Why should I invest energy if he won't.
Do I expect too much? Probably. And my logic isn't exactly sound, I know. I'm totally aware of my double standards too.
Question is, now what?
Do I confront him with my questions and my trust issues or just try to go along with our new plan to fix the sex, putting everything else behind me?