In that dark room with blue beams, on a bed with boards that wouldn't hold. A pale blue light filtering in through the small, shiny blue framed window, open to let the sickeningly sweet evening air into the bedroom. A sheet to keep the chill off, after a day in the sun the temperature of my skin contrasting that of the evening air to the point of goosebumps. My skin heating the space under the sheet above us, letting off all the afternoon sun.
Mind wanderings to things said, trying to understand, trying to resolve as if they were pieces of a puzzle to put together. Wondering whether the resistance was worth it. I had said that no-one would believe us when we got back, I was right.
The early morning with just a tank top and a pair of turquoise panties, the sheets get thrown off dramatically, you admire from your pillow, caress, your cool hand on my skin causing me to shiver. Sliding it up my thigh, over my hip to my ribs. My arm tightening near my breast for fear of going too far, not letting you in, you slide back down.
You refuse to let me touch you, you whisper to me that you are in charge of caresses, pushing my hand gently away.
Your hand moves to my face, moving the hair from my forehead. My eyes open to find you staring into me, through me, it's too much to handle so I close them again. But I can feel them burning into me and I am tempted to open them again, but again I can't resist and I turn away. We speak, we talk about something, what was it? Maybe about what we're doing, I tell you that I don't want to cause trouble, and with a swift gesture to your temple you tell me the trouble is in your mind.