Monday, July 18, 2011

Go to hell.... or something.

Something happened at work today that has me thinking. It's something that normally wouldn't have me thinking but after Greece things have changed.

The background you'll need is this:
While in Greece Co-worker would often tell me to "go to hell" (which translated correctly should be more like a "fuck you" in English, but the closest easiest translation is go to hell) in a nice friendly joking way. I think he used it when he would get frustrated or turned on by me in general. It generally went like this:  "Cande..... go to hell" followed by a smile, and then I would let some time pass and I would say "Co-Worker.... go to hell" and smile. One rather important episode was the night before we slept together when I was tempted to stay in his room, and he sent me to mine. I reluctantly left, came back for the bottle of water where he grabbed me and held me there and then let me go again. When back in my room, I called to him saying "co-worker" (wait for his "yeah")... "go to hell". And he laughed and said, "yeah, you're right".

Today at work he told me to go to hell (and it wasn't the first time since we got back that he has). And I said "thanks" with a smile. And then I answered, "you too though". And his response was "I've already been... I followed you".

Now what the heck is that supposed to mean?
I'm pretty sure it has a double meaning, because after certain things he'd told me while in Greece I learned that much of what he says has a double meaning or hidden meaning. But I can't tell if he meant it in a good way or negative way.

I'm having a hard time getting him out of my brain. A really hard time. I constantly want to email him or text him or anything at all, but I always resist. It's terrible. I want to ask him about music that he had on his ipod that I'd like to know more about, I want to borrow a cd of his to copy the music onto my ipod, but I never get the chance to ask him in person and I fear doing it via email, afraid that his gf might see it and flip.

ARG.... how frustrating.


Johanna said...

He's (probably very deliberately) saying things that could mean nothing, or everything. In reality, you're telling him more than he's telling you, by your reaction to his words. ... It's the essence of the art of flirting, isn't it? It would drive me nuts though. Seems to me you need a better, more frequent and more private means of communication to figure him out. IM:ing? Walk him home?

Peachy Keen said...

Hey Cande. I've followed your blog for years under cheshirecat but now I've finally started my own. Anyhoo one the reasons I related well to you was because I was in a long term relationship much like yours. Encounters like the one in this post are one of the factors of our break up. Mind you I'm still young and we never lived together so there was a lot less riding on us. Still I'm sure you can understand the pain of having an Italian mother in law.

Cande said...

Johanna: yes Everything and nothing... I think that's precisely what it is. Unfortunately there is no better way to communicate as of yet. He lives in another city and drives to work, I can IM him on google chat but the chats are "on record" and end up in his inbox. I fear that his girlfriend has access to that.

Peachy: Hey! Good to see you have your own blog, I'll definitely come check it out. I am one of the lucky few who lives NOWHERE near my mother in-law and to boot I really like her. She's nothing like the typical Italian mother in-laws. But I can imagine what it must have been like. I'm curious to know how a flirt might have ended your relationship. I'm assuming it's in your blog... I'll come visit!