Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Tastes Change

Is your relationship lacking in the sex department? Is your wife/partner bored with the way you have sex? Do you initiate sex the same way every time? Is it time to spice things up in the bedroom?

Sexual tastes change over the years. Oh yes, I am the living proof. I'm sure that sexual tastes change for just about everyone. We come to a point in our lives where we have accomplished a certain sexual maturity and knowledge and the more immature needs turn into more 'sophisticated' needs. We are influenced throughout our lives by the people we meet and have relations with, people we talk to, things we see and read, movies we watch and even internet porn. It would be impossible not to change. 

Would it be totally wrong to ask your partner if their tastes have changed? would it be a mistake? is it better to try to fumble in the dark and figure it out?

I know that at the beginning of a relationship discovery is important and it's certainly better to have some mystery in the bedroom. But after 10 years (or more) of being with someone I think we tend to get ingrained into a certain style of having sex. It's hard to fathom that people change over the years. It's hard to see your partner as the 40 or 50 year old he/she is. We (at least me) often still imagine our partners as who they were when we met them or when our knowledge of them was concretised. 

So would it be wrong to ask our partners what they like in bed?


Advizor54 said...

I don't think it's wrong, I think it's critical to ask. I think back to the first few years of being married to now and "the list" has shifted back and forth several times, not always for the better, but it has certainly moved around.

I think the challenge it to get to a level of honesty where we are past the "Oh, it's fine" stage where we discount our own unhappiness in hopes of keeping the other person happy.

So go ahead and ask, without judging the answer, and you might be pleasantly surprised.

Anonymous said...

Dear god... It's your partner. Your with him/her for years. If you can't ask him, there's definitely something wrong.

By the way, you don't have to talk about it. You may tell him that he can simply do to you what ever he wants. That would at least be an interesting night. Don't you think?

Anonymous said...

what is surely wrong is to NOT tell your partner what you want in bed, what your desires are, what you are curious about.

Ocean Sailor said...

My wife and I just had this conversation tonight. It was a great conversation and we really talked for the first time in eons (40+ years). As much as I want her to sleep with another man she insists she doesn't and she won't. This discussion came around to talking about which positions work best for us, what with our age and parts that aren't as flexible as they were. I can only suggest that you communicate, communicate, communicate!!

Anonymous said...

Not only is it not wrong to ask, it is necessary. I try to ask this question from time to time, although I usually don't get much response other than "what you are doing is fine". I would like this question asked to me more often.

Because, yes, tastes do change, or maybe things you've always wanted but never asked for come to mind and you think "why shouldn't I have that?"