Ok so while at lunch I had an interesting conversation with my guy friends. It was the typical male conversation about how women dress. Except this time I was actually agreeing with them. I wouldn't normally but something in me has changed a bit.
So the gist is this: they say that when a woman with nice breasts wears low cut shirts, it's pretty much impossible not to look. And women get angry that men keep staring at their tits instead of staring at their faces when they speak.
I had a recent experience of one of the students who came to our school. She was an over 50yr old Danish woman with a nice figure and wore push up bras and super low cut shirts. And I mean those square neckline shirts where your tits are just falling out type shirts. You know, the barmaid look. The whole week while doing lessons with these students, I couldn't look the woman in the face. I tried to look her in the eyes while speaking with her, but it was literally impossible! My eyes kept falling to her chest!
What's wrong with me?? I'm a woman, I should't be staring at tits! Is the fact that mine are small an excuse?
In any case I could totally understand what my guy friends were saying. And all I wanted to was defend women by saying that they had to just TRY but I realised that it truly is impossible, or perhaps not impossible but very difficult.
They also said that they thought women dressed to attract attention sometimes. I have done it... it's true... but women sustain that it's not true and that men shouldn't stare.
I honestly don't know who's right and who's wrong.
8 comments:
It's one of life's big mysteries. I think you are supposed to notice but not stare, although there are probably a very small minority of women who would like to be stared at as well as a few self-conscience ones who don't even want them noticed, I think most everyone else is in between.
*giggles* I always end up staring at women who wear low cut shirts. I can't seem to help it. I love boobies. :)
We notice. We're supposed to notice. I can't *not* notice. :-)
I figure that a woman who puts them out there on display wants to be looked at, and I'm happy to oblige. Not in a creepy way...I don't think I ogle with my tongue hanging out, but I appreciate what's being shown. For those who don't dress to show them off, I respect that too (i.e., don't try to look down the top of their blouse. :-))
Interesting to hear a woman's perspective....
Honestly, if a woman is displaying cleavage, I notice, take a moment to appreciate, and then force my gaze upwards. There's a difference between appreciating beauty and ogling, it's a matter of choice and determination in my opinion.
THANK YOU for writing this... I know we men shouldn't, but we can't help it... and you agree. I feel sooo good right now! :)
i think i got it down
i look over their shoulder and usually they turn to look as well this is where i get an eye full then when she turns back i can keep looking her in the eye without slipping south.
advice from a dirty old man
I see the man who occasionally glances, trying not to be caught of course, while talking to me as complimenting me. The man who stares is just being insulting, disrespectful, and leaves me feeling bad about myself.
Marcus: I think you're right, most people don't want to be stared at. Now my question is, how to stop myself?!
Heather: thank god I'm not the only one!!
Max: Respect, of course. That's important. I respect anyone and anything, but I wasn't very respectful in my staring last week... I have to figure out how men avoid staring.
Blue Lantern: You're absolutely right. My problem is that when I translate live, my eyes tend to wander where they want, I blankly stare at anything within range. This last week though, my eyes kept landing THERE.... I need to figure out how to avoid that.
Weave: you're welcome. I just wish staring weren't so creepy...
Dog3oy: haha excellent tactic. But if other people are around they're bound to notice you getting an eye full while she's looking the other way!
Rachel: Absolutely true. I don't have tits to stare at so I don't have this problem, but it would be frustrating if a guy didn't look my in the face while talking to him. I'd probably end up asking what he's looking at. But on the other hand, I learned this last week that my eyes do what they want, especially if I'm translating, they just wander the room. I'm too concentrated on what I'm saying to pay attention to where I'm looking. I have to remedy this!
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