Saturday, March 27, 2010


So You may remember Raul from this post of mine. Well, he has me baffled.

He's a singer/songwriter and artist and in a pre-Christmas Facebook chat he told me that he was going to be recording some of his stuff. I said that I would be interested in hearing it, and he promised to send me a copy. It was a very friendly and even a bit flirty.
Then a couple days ago he posts a status saying that things were coming along with the album and they were almost done. At which point I sent him a private email on Facbook (because I don't have any other contact for him) to congratulate and remind him that I was still interested in hearing it. He sent me a nice email back saying "and so you will, when it's done I'll send you a copy" with an enigmatic .tw at the end of his email. Those are not his initials.

Right, well, a day later I go to answer him, to thank him, and I cant. His message is there but I couldn't answer. I tried clicking his name, and I kept getting sent back to my own feed. I tried doing a search for him but he wasn't ANYWHERE to be found on facebook, not even among the friends list of those we have in common.

I could do a search on Google and come up with his private page, but nothing more. I couldn't contact him in any way. He didn't exist for me.

I figured at that point that he must have blocked me, and after doing a test block from another account. I realized that this is exactly what had happened. He blocked me.

I was angry, it didn't make any sense. Why would he send me a message and then block me? I'm also pretty sure he had done it before.

Three days go by of me worrying that he was angry at me, or that I had violated some strange code of ethics. I started wondering if he was on drugs. I couldn't explain it. Then out of the blue, he's back. I could answer his message if I wanted to. Not only that but last night he wrote "everything ok, kiddo?" (he calls everyone kiddo)on my wall. The wall conversation was as follows:
Me: "all's good in my end of the world"
Him: "that's good just curious"
Me: "hmmm, any reason"
Him: "No"

At this point I started a chat with him,
First asking how he was (since I hadn't done on the wall post). We got into a conversation about how he goes about getting very little sleep so he can be creative more, and how he coasts (dematerialized in his words) through life, trying not to get sucked in by bullshit all the time.

It was a strange conversation. the strangest part was the beginning:

Me: "you good?"

Him: "as good as can be expected."
"i gots a pulse. somewhat..."

Me: "hah that's important"

Him: "sure is. just tired... that's all. but... i'm always tired."

Me: "yeah... need more sleep."

Him: "no."

Me "no?"

Him: "sleep is a waste of my time. i've got too much to do and not enuff time to pull it all off."

Me: "goodness"

Him: "i get around 3 to 4 hours nightly"

Me: "can you function on that?"

Him: "i have been for the last decade and a half or so."

Me: "hmm well I guess so then"

Him: "heh. i like you. besides... that's when i'm most creative. a the cusp of fatigue and dropping dead."

Me: "I'd be exhausted"

And the conversation continued... but wait... did he say "i like you?" what?? why? I just don't get it. He blocks me for a few days then he says he likes me? First of all it's out of context. I didn't say anything to elicit that response. I thought maybe he meant to say "I'm like you". But that doesn't fit either. Not only, but it seems he knows something is up because he asked me if everything was ok...publicly on my wall! He's got me thinking, whirling around trying to figure out why he's blocked me and now he says he likes me, out of the blue, for no reason? Arg, men.

The only plausible reason I can think of is that he blocked me to hide something from me. Or maybe he does it to others as well.
Today I may just email him and tell him that I couldn't answer his email for a few days because he had disappeared, just to see what he says.


Leonhart said...

I gotta say, he doesn't come across at all well from this post. He sounds like a bit of a pretentious douche!

The Facebook thing? I wonder if he didn't just block everyone for a few days? But if not, if he just blocked you for a day, then I don't really have a good explanation.

You could ask. Depends how much it bothers you.

Eden said...

Knowing that you really like this guy, and him knowing that you really like him make it hard for me to figure out if (a) you might be worrying a little too much (I've blocked people for a few days merely for breathing space, nothing personal) or (b) if he is playing games with you to test your reaction if you found out he blocked you.

But as a sidenote, how come it's always the artists/musicians who seem to have have this kind of influence on people? Just an observation! Going from this and your last post n him, part me feels you'll email him anyway. If it were me, I'd have deleted him long ago. Different personalities, I guess...

Cande said...

I like him, sure, but I'm not the type to post things all over his wall or send him things or even email him or chat him up on a regular basis. I don't do anything to let him know I'm around. over a period of about 6 months I must have communicated with him (in some form or other) three or four times tops.

It's been 11 years since I saw him, possibly more. And I don't think I could say that I *really like him* I might say that I *liked him* and that I'm curious about him now.

You're right though, these artists/musicians are the ones that do this to me. I was pretty sure I wasn't alone on this, but it's nice to have confirmation.

I don't have any reason to block him at the moment. My curiosity remains. I haven't decided if I'll email him or not. If I wait too long it'll sound strange so if I don't do it today I won't do it. We'll see.

Advizor said...

I think the internet does strange things to our relationship judgment, it intensifies fleeting feelings, pulls up old emotions, allows us to flirt across the miles and across the years, and makes the impossible seem as easy as logging in to our e-mail.

It's easy to say things that sound right at the moment and then make us squirm the next day. Maybe he's going back and forth in his own sleep deprived brain.