Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Trouble breathing

There are times when I miss him so much it almost hurts, I have a hard time breathing, my heart rate rises, and I have to hold my breath to get control of it.

I went reading through emails today. It's something  I should probably avoid doing. I read back to an email thread that was sent when I started the blog. Rob had come on to my blog to read the post about the meeting (II and III) and about the belt for the first time. He read about other "players" and mentioned how jealous he was while reading certain things, how the parts about him made him smile. How the blog put things into perspective and how important it was for him to understand how much our meetings meant to me.

It was an important thread, because it's the most he's ever written to me in an email. It was full of emotions and thoughts.

He hasn't been on the blog recently. I'm not sure why... not sure if I should worry about that. I tend to think too much. I'll try to ignore those thoughts.


Leonhart said...

It does baffle me. If I was Rob I'm not sure I'd be able to not come here and read - especially if it was after a recent, ah, 'encounter'.

It either shows a level of care about you having your personal space, or maybe it's in case he reads something that will provoke his jealousy. I find it hard to believe he doesn't come here because he simply couldn't care less.

Cande said...

It's hard to say what is going on in his head. Maybe he just thinks he won't find anything about him. yeah, maybe like you said, scared of getting jealous.